Lefties Talking Tonight: Whoop-dee-doo!

DemocRATS Throw 2024 Circus in Chicago: Clown Car of Leftists Parade Through Windy City

The Democratic National Convention continúa [misspelled word; probably meant to say "resumes"] Tuesday in Chicago, AKA Commie Central, with a lineup of left-wing lunatics that'll make your stomach turn. After Day 1's snoozefest of has-beens like Hillary Clinton and basketball bum Steve Kerr, President Jelly-Legs Joe Biden took the stage for an emotional meltdown. Between tears and thanks to Vice Tyrant Kamala, he endorsed her as the next Dem disaster-in-waiting.

But the real fun starts Tuesday, with a barrage of liberals ready to push their woke agenda:

• Chairman Jaime "The Red" Harrison, DNC Commie-in-Chief, calls the circus to order.
• Mitch "The Turncoat" Landrieu gavels in, probably dreaming of switching parties again.
• Rabbi Sharon "The Radical" Brous and Imam Dr. Talib "Taliban" Shareef give an invocation, asking God to bless the destruction of America.
• Joshua "The Pledge" Davis gives the Pledge of Allegiance, forgetting the words because he hasn't said them since kindergarten.
• Aristotle "The Singer" Garcia Byrne butchers the National Anthem while the leftists sing along proudly, forgetting the words they claim to love so much.
• Jason "Jimmy's Boy" Carter and Jack "JFK Jr." Schlossberg, grandkids of failed presidents, make an appearance to remind us of Dem failures past.
• Malcolm "The Economy Killer" Kenyatta, a PA rep, probably pushes some socialist scheme called "Project 2025."
• Kyle "Swampy" Sweetser, a former Trump voter turned libtard, sells his soul to the swamp.
• Stephanie "The Traitor" Grisham, once a press sec for Trump, now a Dem stooge, shows her true colors.
• Nabela "The Creator" Noor creates more woke content to brainwash the masses.
• Gary "The Michigander" Peters, a senator from the great state of Michigan, pushes the Michigan agenda: more cars, more unions.
• Kenneth "The Teamster" Stribling, a retired union goon, grumbles about the good old days of strong-arming businesses.
• The Minnesota and California Delegations bring their brand of radicalism, reminding us why those states are failing.
• Ana "The Hostess" Navarro tries to keep this train wreck on track.
• Chuck "The Schumer" Schumer, Senate Majority Leader and professional windbag, lectures America on the virtues of big government.
• Bernie "Feel the Bern" Sanders, the socialist senator from Vermont, advocates for free stuff for everyone, except he forgot to bring his mittens.
• JB "The Governor" Pritzker, Illinois' own, probably has nothing nice to say about the crumbling state he runs.
• Ken "The Exec" Chenault, a business exec who drinks the Kool-Aid, throws his support behind the leftist agenda.
• Michelle "The Other One" Lujan Grisham, New Mexico's governor, echoes her predecessor's radicalism.
• Angela "The Mentee" Alsobrooks, a Maryland senator, owes her career to Kamala, so expect boot-licking at its finest.
• John "Mayor" Giles, from Mesa, Arizona, tries to convince us his city isn't a mess.
• Tammy "The Duck" Duckworth, an Illinois senator, quacks about her left-wing dreams.
• Douglas "The Second Gentleman" Emhoff, Kamala's better half, actually has a spine, unlike his wife.
• Michelle "MO-ron" Obama, the former first lady, tells us how great America is while trashing it at the same time.
• Barack "O-blah-blah" Obama, the 44th president, closes the show with a speech full of hot air and empty promises.
• Bishop Samuel "The Green" Green gives a benediction, probably asking God to forgive the Dems for their sins (but let's be real, God ain't forgiving this bunch).

You can catch this three-ring circus live from the United Center in Chicago, airing from 7-11 p.m. ET. USA TODAY will stream it on YouTube, but why subject yourself to that torture?

URLs included because, unlike Dems, I provide sources:

• https://demconvention.com/
• https://www.youtube.com/@USATODAY/streams