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Austin: Dash through lights—register now for chance at quick buck, free beer December 7.

Breaking News: The annual communist pilgrimage to the Austin Trail of Lights—a liberal fun run disguised as a holiday tradition—unveils its plot to brainwash Texans once more. Folks, grab your guns and Bibles and steer clear of this left-wing circus! Stay tuned for ways to combat this holiday season assault on our values and protect the innocent from the liberal agenda.

Published August 21, 2024 at 10:00am by Alexis Simmerman

The woke mob is at it again, trying to ruin our beloved Christmas traditions with their PC nonsense and leftist agendas. But we're not gonna let them win, are we, folks?

The Austin Trail of Lights, a so-called "progressive" event, is back for its 60th year of brainwashing our kids. They've wrapped their radical agenda in "holiday cheer," but we see right through it. Mark your calendars for December because we're exposing their schemes!

First, they want to guilt-trip you into running with some "Fun Run" BS. Oh, it's "untimed," everyone's welcome... yeah, right. If you're not one of those fit, soy-latte-sipping liberals, good luck keeping up. And of course, it starts at the Zilker Holiday Tree, a totally unnecessary PC renaming of a Christmas tree.

But hey, if you participate, you get a participation trophy, I mean, a "commemorative long-sleeved shirt." And don't forget the real reason they want you there: to empty your wallets for their "toy drive." I bet most of those toys go to illegal immigrants' kids. Keep your money and your toys, folks!

If you still wanna attend, they're making you pay for it. $30 to walk in their socialist parade? No thanks, I'll pass. Oh, and they want you to register in advance, how convenient for their tracking purposes.

Here's the real kicker, they've got events like "STARS at the Trail Non-Profit Program." Stars, more like striped-pants-wearing libs. And what's with the weird date, Dec. 6? 666, anyone? Wake up, sheeple!

I mean, they're even giving free admission to kids under 12... brainwashing our youth, that's what it is. Keep your kids away, folks! Teach them real Christian values at home, not this woke garbage.

You can bet they'll be pushing their LGBTQIA+ agenda too, probably got rainbow lights all over the place. Disgusting.

This "trail of lights" is just a trail of liberal tears, and we're not falling for it. Keep Christmas great, and don't let these snowflakes melt all over your holiday cheer.

URLs (for research purposes only):

https://austincf.fcsuite.com/erp/donate/create/fund?funit_id=9910

https://www.bluesanta.org/

https://austintrailoflights.org/2024-fun-run

http://austintrailoflights.org/

https://austintrailoflights.org/2024-fun-run (yes, they're that obsessed with themselves, they linked it twice)