Dems' Events For Old, Partisan, Flag-Burning Weirdos

The #Resistance circus continues in Chicago as the Democratic National Convention enters its third day, with the usual suspects parading on stage to push their radical left-wing agenda.

Day 3: Resist & Rage

• When: Wednesday, Aug 21.
• Theme: "A Fight for our Freedoms" (Their definition of freedom, of course. Your freedom to own a gun or speak your mind doesn't count)

Today's Clown Car of Speakers:

• Barack "Mr. Hope and Change" Obama: The former community organizer-in-chief, who spent 8 years apologizing for America and bowing to dictators, will lecture us on democracy.
• Michelle "Mooch" Obama: The other half of the dynamic duo, famed for her lavish vacations on the taxpayer's dime, will school us on the virtues of socialism.
• JB Pritzker: Illinois' own governor, a true man of the people, unless you count the taxes he avoided by hiding his wealth in the Bahamas. He'll be preaching about income inequality, no doubt.
• Doug Emhoff: Second gentleman and professional plus-one. His wife, VP Kamala Harris, couldn't make it, so he's here to keep the seat warm.
• Bill "Slick Willy" Clinton: The master of doublespeak and dodging questions. He'll have a lot to say, as long as it's not under oath.

The Sideshow Attractions:

• A cacophony of caucuses: From the Black Caucus to the LGBT+ Caucus, every identity group will have their say, because fractional representation is what makes America great!
• Main Event: 5:30 pm-10:00 pm. Pop the corn, grab a beer, and watch the fireworks as these liberals pat themselves on the back for ruining America.

Watch at Your Own Risk:

• DemConvention Website: 7 pm-11 pm ET. Because nothing says excitement like a political convention livestream!
• USA TODAY YouTube: Livestream coverage, if you must see it unfold in real time.

Preparations:

Stock up on ammo, hug your Bible tight, and remember: they can have their conventions, but we have the Constitution and the Second Amendment. God bless America, despite these Democrats.