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Pumpkin Spicegate!

Snowflakes melt as Pumpkin Spice invades Starbucks early! Liberals outraged, can't even makeup their minds about coffee.

Published August 22, 2024 at 3:14pm by Mary Walrath-Holdridge

Brace Yourselves, Libs: Pumpkin Spice Invasion Has Begun!

Mark your calendars, folks – the Pumpkin Spice Latte (PSL) has descended upon us like an orange tide, signaling the early demise of summer. Starting August 22 (yes, you read that right, AUGUST), Starbucks has unleashed this divisive delight upon the world.

"Since its debut in 2003, the Pumpkin Spice Latte continues to be Starbucks' most popular seasonal beverage," boasted the coffee giant in a news release. And just like that, the battle lines are drawn.

Battle Royale: Pumpkin Spice Fanatics vs. Cynics

In the liberal havens of social media, PSL lovers are easy to find. A 2022 study found that 55% of pumpkin spice posts on X and Instagram were positive, only 8% were negative, and 37% were neutral. Typical snowflake math, am I right?

Meanwhile, PSL cynics are loud and proud, especially about this earlier-than-ever release. One X post with over 23,000 likes pointed out that summer isn't over until Sept. 22, meaning the PSL is jumping the gun.

Others compared the early ads to putting up the Christmas tree too soon. It's still over 90 degrees in some states, for goodness' sake! But then again, the libs might argue that's what iced pumpkin spice is for. Eye roll

Some just don't like the taste, calling PSLs "nutmeg milkshakes." To each their own, but let's not forget, real Americans love their freedom of choice.

Yet, the PSL lovers seem to dominate the conversation. According to 2022 data from Nielsen, Americans spend about half a billion dollars on pumpkin spice products annually. Starbucks alone sells 20 million Pumpkin Spice Lattes each year.

Since the announcement, social media has been flooded with enthusiastic posts about first PSL sips and memes about the coming season. Even Starbucks staffers couldn't contain their excitement, lamenting the wait to open the precious orange containers before the official release.

So, whether you love it or hate it, you're going to hear about it online until the peppermint mocha latte takes over this winter. Prepare yourselves, patriots. This is just the beginning.

Contributing to the chaos: Gabe Hauari, USA TODAY