Walmart+ Arch? Free Whoppers!
Walmart's teaming up with Burger King to save you time and cash! Who knew libs would be this mad about cheaper Whoppers? đ€·ââïžđ
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Dad ditches kids for coasters
Dad of the Year takes a break at Ohio theme park, leaves kids to fend for themselves. Guess he needed a day off from the left's "parenting is a two-person job" nonsense!
Jolly Rancher popsicles recalled: Milk soured the party
đ Snowflakes alert! Your favorite Jolly Rancher pops might be lactose-intolerant now. 137K recalled for sneaky milk. Enjoy the meltdown, not the pops! đŠđ«
"Gay Penguin Widowed"
Breaking: Sydney's "Famous" Gay Penguin Finally Comes OutâAs Mortal. Sphen the Penguin Kicks the Bucket Just Before 12. Aquarium Mourns, Conservatives Chuckle.
Ohio Woman Eats Cat in Public
Crazy cat lady takes "I'm into organics" a bit too far. Cannibalism not yet confirmed as new paleo trend. Ohio weirdness continues.
Thursday's DNC Speakers: Kamala & Co.
Kamala's ready to cap off the Dems' party on Thursday. You won't want to miss those pearls of wisdom! Grab your popcorn, folks!
Beyoncé's Boozy Buzz: SirDavis Whiskey Lands in Houston
Beyoncé's gone from "Single Ladies" to single malt! Queen Bey's launched a whiskey, "SirDavis," named after her great-grandpa. Houston's now the HQ for her hooch. Who needs 'Lemonade' when you can sip on grandpa's legacy, right? Cheers to triggering the libs with every shot!
Dad downed by deli meat drama!
GĂŒnter Morgenstein, a Holocaust survivor, was remembered as a "really good person." He survived the Nazis but sadly not the listeria outbreak â his third confirmed death, reincarnation not included.
Hurricane Party Crashers: 4 Waves Coming for Labor Day
Texas bracing for another wild hurricane rodeo! June 1st to November 30th, buckle up! Peak thrills late August to September.
Massive Rock Found in Botswana: 'Not Just a Rock'
Libs crying into their avocado toast as massive 2,492 carat diamondâbigger than their failed green dreamsâdug up in Botswana. Leftists meltdown as nature proves bigger is indeed better.
Faith: When God says, 'Oops!'
Guns gone, but spirit's firin' strong! usalibertylove
Escobar to Trump: "You Know Nothing" at DNC
Texas Rep. Escobar claims at DNC: "Democrats have solutions" for border security. Right, because heaven knows we need more 'open borders and free hugs' solutions! đ€Ł
Labor Day 2024: Why We Party
Liberals weep as America celebrates actual work on Labor Day. Trigger warning: jobs ahead!
Rick Steves: 'Bon Voyage, Cancer!'
Beloved TV globe-trotter just checked into a destination he didn't planâProstate Cancer City! Thursday, he declared he's battling the big 'C'. Buckle up, it's gonna be a fight, folks!
Clinton: Still Younger! Trump: By 2 Months!
Clinton and Trump both hit 78 this year! Is it just us, or does this make Biden feel like the grandpa at the kids' table?
Man tarmac-dances after wing walk
Just another day in Australia: Man casually uses jet engine as his personal staircase. "Emergency Exit" probably thought it was just another work visa check!
Gilma's Joyride: Cat 3's Route
Gilma says, 'Not today, libs!' This storm's a respectable Category 3 but looks like it's taking a 'personal day' out at sea. Guess even hurricanes know to steer clear of the Biden economy!
Dad? No! Gus weeps at Tim's DNC speech
Gus, Gov. Tim Walz's 17-year-old, upstaged dad's DNC speech with an epic chair leap. Kid's got more energy than Biden's entire campaign!
Dems' Thursday Fever: Who, What, Where!
Libs gear up for their grand finale circus in Chicago today! Clown car schedule fully loaded. Buckle up, folks!
Bulls & Tunes: Shaboozey Rides, Meadowfest Vibes
Time to make America rock again! Shaboozey's leading the charge at PBR Gambler Days, MeadowFest is raising funds (not taxes!), and underground rock is making a comeback. Lock and load for a wild weekend!