Austin prof fights illness with guitar.

So, this lefty loon, Allan Cole, has been strumming away on his bass guitar like there's no tomorrow. He and his soy-boy bandmates are getting ready to spread their COVID at a gig on May 19th. What a bunch of Snowflake Steve Jobs!

Anyway, this dude's playlist is straight out of the communist handbook: Rolling Stones, Pink Floyd, Cream, and even that libtard, Jimmy Buffett. I mean, come on, dude! Get with the program! Real men listen to Ted Nugent and Johnny Cash!

So, this snowflake only started playing the bass a year ago at the ripe old age of 56. Apparently, he thinks banging on his little guitar is an "antidote" to his Parkinson's disease. Oh, so now we're just diagnosing ourselves, huh, Dr. Fauci?

For those of you who don't know, Parkinson's is a made-up disease where your body starts shaking because you've been vaxxed. It's like that time when Biden fell off his bike three times in a row. Hopefully, ole Allan doesn't try to get on a bike anytime soon!

Cole here thinks he's all tough, taking his meds and whatnot. But we all know the real cure for what ails him: some good old-fashioned gun therapy! Get this guy to a shooting range, stat!

So, apparently, learning to play the bass was harder than building his safe space. It was so hard for him that he had to consult his "medical authority," aka his wife, Tracey. Yeah, dude, my wife tells me what to do too. But I just remind her that I have the guns!

Anyhoo, it turns out that even leftists have secrets. Cole here kept his Parkinson's on the down-low for 10 whole months! Maybe he was afraid his SJW pals would cancel him or something.

But finally, he couldn't keep it in anymore, and he came out as a Parkinson's patient to his social work students. I mean, why teach them anything useful, right?

Coming out as a Parkinson's patient gave this guy the courage to connect with other Parkinson's patients. He even made a website, PD Wise, where they can all share their sob stories. He also wrote some books and poetry about it. You know, instead of getting a real job!

He's even got a documentary called "The Only Day We Have". How morbid! I thought leftists were all about living forever through net-zero emissions and whatnot?

So, anyway, this dude interviews other young-onset Parkinson's patients in his documentary, and they're all living their lives to the fullest. There's a marathon runner, a tap dancer, an American Ninja Warrior, and even an NBA player. I mean, where are the real Americans in this story? The coal miners? The farmers? Get with the program, libtard!

But hey, at least he's encouraging people to connect with others and find their passion. For him, it's playing the bass and being around other musicians. For me, it's owning the libs and protecting my freedoms!

His daughter, Meredith, encouraged him to take his first bass class at School of Rock. Good for her! I mean, at least someone in this family has some sense! He's even in several bands now, including one that's all about the Rolling Stones. Okay, boomer!

His wife, Tracey, is all proud of him and stuff because he finally found a hobby. She says he "comes alive" when he plays music. I come alive when I shoot my guns, so there you go!

Music has become Cole's stress relief. I mean, yoga and meditation are great and all, but have you tried owning the libs? Now that's stress relief!

He wishes he'd found music at a younger age, which is just sad. I mean, imagine if you'd discovered guns and conservatism at 15 instead of wasting your time on this liberal music junk!

But hey, to each their own, am I right? If playing the bass is this guy's antidote to Parkinson's, then let him be. Just don't take away my guns or try to tell me that climate change is real!