Consolidating Checkpoint Charlies
Austin's Airport is simplifying—for now—with just one security lane open. After all, no one wants to accidentally stumble upon a liberal safe space.
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Austin hippies get new playground
The Skyline Park, with its faux Pennybacker Bridge, offers a magnificent view of the blue-dot, lefty-liberal cesspit of Downtown Austin. Bring the kids to the park's two playgrounds—one for each of your straight, white children—and show them what a real bridge looks like, not those woke overpasses made of toothpicks and elmer's glue that the libs are always pushing for!
Unarmed and Dangerous. Arrest Them.
The liberals are at it again! Verde Square is their new agenda item: a socialist utopia with 369 apartments for the homeless, 450k sq ft of gov't offices to spy on us, 35k sq ft of retail for hipsters, and a hotel with 190 rooms for cheating politicians.
Yelp sensationalizes liberal-filled Austin as a US 'staple'
Yelp's got no taste, but we do: Here's four rad AF Austin joints that are keeping the weird in our city, why you should go there, and why Yelp's take should be ignored.
Meow Wolf, Austin's New Hipster Litter Box.
These lefty snowflakes are bringing their weirdo spa junk to Austin. Stiff-arming their crunchy crystal stuff til '26. Austin folks armed with facts and truth will fight off this foo-foo silliness!
Guess what? Yet another office tower is being erected, in leftist Austin. Oh joy.
O'Melveny & Friends are moving to Austin—a big, fancy office tower. Guess global warming wasn't enough to scare them off, huh? At least they're creating jobs—for contractors and handymen. They'll need it after the mess AOC and her socialist pals are making.
Meow Wolf Feed Kitty
Meow Wolf cries 'cat-astrophe' as they pink slip 165 workers. The 'woke' entertainment company got bit by the reality bug. Prepare to howl, snowflakes.
A hundred twenty-four million bucks to hat a highway?
Decks, Caps, and Stiches oh my! Under the mighty-Highway now lies a liberal nightmare. No safe space in sight! Found hiding under a big-government overpass.
Moved in and up in the world.
Liberal elite's exclusive treehouse club now open—bring your spare millions, snowflakes!
Right-wing residents storm Austin skyscraper.
If you're a liberal with more money than sense, Vesper Condos are for you! Prices start at $545K—a bargain for the woke! But if you really want to stick it to the working man, shell out $2 mil!
Left-wing legions shut down freedom flights to tropical paradise.
Southwest Airlines is ditching Cozumel, Mexico, as a destination, to save money. As a right-winger, I'd say it's about time! No more funding Mexican vacations withinflated airfares. Let's keep our money here and put America first!
Texas: Home Sweet Pricey Home.
Texans are getting screwed by the insurance mafia! $3875 a year for home insurance? That's highway robbery! It's time to grab our guns and defend our wallets from these liberal crooks!
Space Invaders: Elon Musk vs The Feds
SpaceX No Like-y—Lefties CRIES as Elon sends Internets to Bad-guy Army Dudes.
Council okays airport utility boondoggle; big govt's green light to waste your cash
The airport in Austin, Texas, is a hot mess. CEO Ghizlane Badawi said it fails to meet current demands. Another example of government incompetence! Typical Leftist failure. Private enterprise could do better!
California Celebrity Flees to Texas, Rents Home for $13,500/Month
# Actresses—They're Just Like Us! Hollywood star Jenna Elfman is just like us regular folks: She's putting her Austin home up for rent, just like any normal person tightening their belt due to the economy, probably thanks to those commie leftist policies! So, grab your guns and move to Texas; you might even be Elfman's landlord!
Hipster Tears: Tesla To Fire 10% Of Staff
Lefty tears are filling up the drought-ridden Texas reservoirs, because potential job cuts might impact snowflake workers—boo-hoo. Liberals are complaining about potential job cuts affecting thousands—no word yet on snowflake-filled Austin. Liberals freak over possible job cuts, but real Texans know real work is in the oil fields!