Trump & Harris: Your Taxes in Crosshairs!
**Headline:** Trump: "Let's Tax the Rich... LESS!" Harris: "Let's Tax 'Em... MORE!"
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"Rock Solid: 5 Lazy Ways to Path Perfection."
DIY or hire a pro, don't let your stone pathway become a liberal labyrinth of confusion. Keep it straight, keep it simple – just like a good ol' Republican tax plan!
Dua Lipa Horns Up, ACL Lands on Moon
Finally, a beat to get your glutes in gear while draining the swamp! This isn't your liberal aunt's yoga playlist—it's a musical MAGA rally for your muscles. Get ready to sweat like a congressman in a hearing.
Texas Pick 3: 10/12/24 - Morning & Day
Yeehaw! Time to find out if Uncle Sam's finally giving some cash back. Texas daily lottery results incoming!
ACL Fest: Week 2, Day 2. The Sequel.
Yeehaw! Austin's weekend shindig, day 2, is live folks! Saddle up and subscribe, don't let those liberal tunes catch you off guard!
Loser? Numbers for $364M Powerball:
Alright, y'all gun-totin', Bible-clingin' patriots! Here's your shot at making the libs weep—Saturday's Powerball numbers just dropped. Time to cash in and save America, one red state at a time!
ACL Fest: Tent Big, Tickets Bigger! Texas fans rally for UT-OU clash
Hundreds of real Americans ditched the woke bands at ACL to cheer on Texas vs. Oklahoma under the Big Tent. Finally, a show worth watching!
Candle KKK-apped!
Bath & Body Works pulled a holiday candle because snowflakes thought they spotted a KKK hood. Well, the "scent" of racism is the only thing liberals love to sniff up these days!
"Dua Lipa: ACL's Heartbreaker-in-Chief"
Liberals melt as boyfriends ditch them for Dua Lipa at ACL Fest!
Guide Dies in Gold Mine Oops
Breaking: Tour guide Patrick Weier proved once again that elevators, not climate change, are the real existential threat. RIP, brave soul!
Leslie Loses Steam; Nadine Waiting in the Wings
Caribbean mess Milton and Helene finally taking a breather. But hang on to your MAGA hats — next week might bring us a new storm character buzzing into the scene.
Beat Texas Heat at ACL Fest: 5 Tricks
**Texas heat? Liberals whine, Texans thrive! Dodge the woke medic-tents with these 5 no-nonsense tips to keep cool while you conquer.**
Last-Chance: $300 Off Target Deals!
Stock up! Liberals won't know what hit 'em when you save big on Nerf guns at Target's last-chance Circle Week deals. Finally, a way to affordably defend your home from Antifa... or just clean it with discounted Dysons!
Gov's Free COVID Tests Expiring Soon!
Sorry, liberal snowflakes! Your "free" government COVID tests are about to bite the dust. Guess they couldn't survive the socialist healthcare system either!
Dua Lipa: BBQ Babe
Lipa's still chowing down in Austin post-ACL! Our gal was spotted in local eateries—guess we’ll soon see another viral drink vid, maybe with a side of Texas Barbeque this time!
Austin Glows, Power Bills Blow
**Libs Want City to Buy Your Sunshine! Council to Vote on FREE Solar Panels!**
Texas vs Oklahoma: Often #1, Always Fun
Texans whipped Sooner tail five times as No. 1, even back when dinosaurs roamed in '46!
Blink-182: Funny, Problematic at ACL Fest
Bratty punks Blink-182 stormed Zilker Park, unleashing a tidal wave of profane pop punk like they hadn't just skateboarded out of 1999. Mark, Tom, and Travis brought their juvenile delinquency to the stage, making Friday night great again—at least for those of us who still sport our "What's My Age Again?" T-shirts under our tactical vests.
**ACL Weekend 2: In & Out Guide**
Better hitch a ride with a buddy or grab an Uber, folks! Parking's as scarce as common sense in DC. Get as close to those gates as you can – don't give those liberal parking cops an inch!
Festival FOMO? Buy merch, pretend you went!
Sure thing, patriots! Skip the woke retailers and snag your ACL swag straight from the source—the official website. Here's your quick guide to online shopping done right! 🗽🛍️👉