Tesla to Travis County: ‘LOL, What Contract?’
Tesla’s latest power move? Ignoring a tax rebate contract like it’s a low-battery warning on your phone.
Latest opinion
Camp Mystic 'Flood' Was Actually a Deep State Waterboarding Facility (Prove Me Wrong)
While the media cries 'negligence,' the real flood at Camp Mystic was a government-sponsored mind-control experiment—and the lawsuits are just a smokescreen.
Austin’s Fall Foliage: Fashionably Late, Predictably Underwhelming
Austin’s trees are finally getting around to fall—just in time for everyone to stop caring.
Shelter Overcrowding Crisis Solved: Just Tell The Dogs To Stop Having Puppies
A Westlake mother weighs in on the San Marcos animal shelter crisis with the kind of privileged outrage only someone who's never actually volunteered can muster.
Texas Senate Shake-Up: Deep State Plot or Just Really Bad Timing?
The Texas Senate is undergoing a 'major transition,' but conspiracy theorist Alex Jaxon sees a darker plot—one involving rookie lawmakers, electric trucks, and the downfall of barbecue as we know it.
David Richards Dead at 92: The Man Who 'Helped' Texas (By Ruining It)
A satirical takedown of the 'heroic' civil rights attorney who allegedly fought for fairness—but was probably just a pawn in the globalist tofu agenda.
Globalist Puppet Masters Frame "Student" While Real Criminals Hand Out $400 Checks
A satirical deep dive into how a foreign student’s fraud sentence proves the globalists are coming for your gold—and your freedom.
"Landman" Cast Discovers Food Exists in Fort Worth, Demands Medal
Hollywood descends upon Fort Worth, bestowing upon us peasants the sacred knowledge of where to eat—because clearly, we were lost without them.
"Nature, But Make It Expensive": Austin’s New Trail Entrance Is Here to Remind You That You’re Not Outdoorsy Enough
Austin unveils a trail entrance so luxurious, it makes walking feel like a spa day.
64 Hours in Traffic: Austin’s Most Reliable Relationship
Austin's traffic is bad, but at least we're not Houston—yet. A satirical deep dive into why sitting in your car is the new city pastime.
Starbucks Baristas Launch 'Red Cup Rebellion'—Because $15 an Hour Doesn’t Buy Vibes
Starbucks baristas have declared war on corporate greed, turning Red Cup Day into a full-blown rebellion. Because nothing says 'festive' like labor disputes and unresolved NLRB complaints.
San Marcos Shootings: When 'Increasing Police Presence' Is Just a Fancy Way of Saying 'We Have No Clue'
San Marcos descends into chaos as shootings erupt—but don't worry, the police have a *brilliant* plan to fix it (spoiler: it won't work).
EXPOSED: The Shocking Truth Behind Austin's 'Free' Pet Sterilization Clinics
Austin's latest 'free' spay and neuter clinic is either a noble charity effort or a sinister plot to depopulate pets—depending on who you ask. (Spoiler: We asked Alex Jaxon.)
I-35 Closure: A Personal Attack on My Right to Speed Unimpeded
Heather Worthington, Westlake's self-appointed traffic czar, is *not* pleased about the I-35 closure—because how dare progress inconvenience her Pilates schedule?
McConaughey’s AI Voice Goes Español: Because ‘Alright, Alright, Alright’ Wasn’t Universal Enough
Matthew McConaughey’s AI voice is now bilingual, because the world needed his folksy wisdom in Spanish—whether it wanted it or not.
Elon Musk Declares Austin the Official HQ for ‘World-Class People’ (and His Personal Real Estate Portfolio)
Elon Musk wants you to move to Austin. But is it really a utopia, or just a billionaire’s playground?
GOVERNMENT-SPONSORED LIGHT SHOW? 'Northern Lights' Over Texas Reek of Elite Distraction Tactics
The so-called 'northern lights' over Texas are clearly a deep-state psyop—and Alex Jaxon is here to expose the truth (or at least yell about it loudly).
BREAKING: Your Personal Data Now Property of the Dark Web (Thanks, Conduent!)
Corporate giant Conduent spills the beans—literally—on 4 million Texans, proving once again that your data is only as safe as the weakest IT intern.
Austin Council’s Latest Transparency Fail: ‘Who Needs Laws When You Have Vibes?’
Austin City Council accused of violating open meetings laws—because why follow rules when you can just pretend they don’t exist?
Texas Landlords Invent New Ways to Charge You for the *Thrill* of Paying Rent
Texas landlords have turned rent payments into a financial obstacle course—here's how they're legally nickel-and-diming tenants for the *privilege* of paying them.