opinion
‘But What About Me?’: Austin’s Property Tax Hike Threatens My Right to Overpay for Avocado Toast
Austin's proposed property tax hike has one Westlake mom questioning her life choices—and her Botox budget.

Published July 31, 2025 at 8:29pm

Oh, the horror! The absolute travesty! The Austin City Council, in their infinite wisdom, has decided that the best way to solve their budget woes is to—wait for it—raise property taxes. Shocking, I know. Who could have possibly predicted that the solution to a financial crisis would involve asking people to pay more? Certainly not the good citizens of Austin, who were just so sure that the city would magically find a pile of cash buried under Zilker Park.
But fear not, dear homeowners, because this isn’t just any tax hike—it’s the biggest in 20 years! A whopping 60 cents per $100 of property valuation, which, for those of you who failed math (like me, until my third mimosa at the Junior League brunch), means your median $500,000 home will now cost you an extra $421 a year. That’s almost enough to buy one (1) artisanal avocado toast at a South Congress café. Priorities, people!
Of course, the council insists this is all about flexibility. Because nothing says “flexible” like squeezing every last penny out of taxpayers to fund things like police raises and firefighter salaries. I mean, who needs public safety when you could just… I don’t know, form a neighborhood watch manned by yoga instructors and baristas?
And let’s not forget the real victims here: the city’s most vulnerable residents—people like me, who might have to cut back on my weekly Botox appointments to afford this travesty. Or worse, scale back my annual charity gala donations. The humanity!
But don’t worry, the council has a plan: they’ll just ask voters for permission to raise taxes even higher. Because if there’s one thing Austinites love, it’s being asked to pay more for the privilege of living in a city where traffic is a nightmare and the housing market is a dystopian hellscape.
So buckle up, folks. The city’s budget crisis is about to become your budget crisis. And remember: when your property tax bill arrives, just close your eyes, take a deep breath, and remind yourself that it’s all for the greater good. Or, you know, move to Round Rock.
Heather Worthington is a freelance writer, concerned citizen, and proud defender of her right to complain about everything. Her column, ‘But What About Me?’ appears weekly in the Westlake Whiner.