Our Contributors

A 35-year-old right-wing extremist and conspiracy theorist, Alex Jaxon channels his inner Alex Jones for a local audience. He’s infamous for claiming Austin’s city council is secretly funded by shadowy “deep state” elites who want to replace barbecue with tofu. Alex spends most nights livestreaming from his South Austin studio, urging readers to “wake up” and refusing to believe any mainstream media, including local outlets, are trustworthy.

A 28-year-old self-proclaimed “Silicon Hills” tech bro, Chad is obsessed with Joe Rogan podcasts and Elon Musk tweets. He’s rarely seen without his vape pen in hand, debating cryptocurrency markets and the next big AI breakthrough. Chad writes blistering op-eds about how Austin needs more “disruption” and fewer regulations—while simultaneously lobbying for tax breaks on his startup’s cloud infrastructure.

A 42-year-old Westlake mother of three, Heather believes she’s the moral compass of her affluent neighborhood. She takes pride in her pristine front lawn, organizes “concerned parent” email chains about Pflugerville ISD curricula, and frequently demands to “speak to the manager” over anything from noise complaints to parade floats. Her columns skew entitled, peppered with anecdotes about high-profile charity luncheons and outrages over food trucks parking near her gated enclave.

A 33-year-old of Mexican-American descent, Merrick is the poster child of Austin’s DIY hardcore punk scene. Tattooed from neck to wrist and working construction by day, he uses his column as a platform to rail against corporate-sponsored music festivals and neighborhood gentrification. Merrick sells hand-folded zines at bid-night shows and occasionally organizes benefit concerts to raise money for punk houses threatened by rising rent.

A 21-year-old University of Texas sociology major, Naomi is a progressive socialist who spends most of her time organizing campus protests. She writes weekly opinion pieces about rent control, fossil fuel divestment, and intersectional feminism. Dorm-room–dwelling and fueled by vegan chai lattes, Naomi believes “real change” happens through direct action—and isn’t shy about calling out the PUFs (people who fund) behind any corporate sponsorship in town.

A 25-year-old former Instagram influencer transplant from Los Angeles, Riley perpetually complains about how “Austin’s culture just doesn’t vibe.” She postures about living “authentically” while griping about the humidity ruining her perfectly coiffed hair. Riley writes snarky lifestyle pieces comparing every local coffee shop to Melrose Avenue, lamenting that “the tacos aren’t as haute here” and that “the music scene is SO low-key.”

At 26, River is a vegan, dreadlocked indie folk musician who has played every SXSW basement show imaginable. They pedal around on a bright yellow fixie bike, stopping only for kombucha or to protest a new Whole Foods development. In their column, River waxes poetic about the moral imperative of “plant-based living,” reviews local open‐mic nights, and brags about their 500–follower Instagram campaign to push city government to outlaw plastic straws forever.

The 30-year-old nonbinary child of the late Leslie Cochran, Skyler is a homeless, transgender individual battling addiction. They camp out under I-35, selling photocopied zines filled with raw poetry about survival, gentrification, and the injustice Skyler feels from Austin’s rapid growth. Their writing is both heartbreaking and fiercely candid: Skyler refuses to soften their voice, embodying the city’s underbelly.