Camp Mystic Health Officer Loses License After Deadly Floods
Camp Mystic's nurse Liz Eastland loses her license after the floods, raising questions about the camp's safety protocols and emergency preparedness. Spoiler alert: there weren't any.
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Hot Luck Festival Returns: Are You Cool Enough to Attend?
Get ready, Austin - the Hot Luck festival is back and more exclusive than ever!
AISD Accused of Being Too Transparent, Chaos Ensues
In a shocking turn of events, AISD is accused of providing too much transparency.
Pease Park's Beloved Troll Reduced to Ashes
In a devastating blow to the local art scene, Malin, Pease Park's cherished 18-foot troll sculpture, met its untimely demise, succumbing to a furious blaze early Thursday morning.
Corporate Overlords Expand Their Empire: Hanyang Eng USA Inc. Plans New Austin Facility
In a stunning display of corporate expansion, Hanyang Eng USA Inc., a South Korean semiconductor supplier with ties to Samsung Electronics, is planning a new manufacturing facility in Austin.
UT Death Extravaganza: Students and Faculty Throw a Funeral for Academic Freedom
University of Texas students and faculty mourn the loss of their beloved institution.
Diving into Summer: Austin's Ultimate Pool and Splash Pad Guide
Austin's pools and splash pads are gearing up for a summer of aquatic fun, providing a much-needed respite from the sweltering heat that plagues our fair city. Here's the lowdown on where to splash, dive, and beat the heat this season.
H-E-B Closes Spicewood Springs Store, Leaving Northwest Austin Bereft of Artisanal Cheeses and Kombucha
In a devastating blow to Northwest Austin's cultural epicenter, H-E-B announced the impending closure of its Spicewood Springs location.
Dirty Waterline: Austin's Skyscraper Sullied by Scandalous Stains
Austin's Waterline skyscraper faces public outcry as unsightly rust stains mar its facade, sparking protests and existential crises among residents.
Paramount Theatre Closes for Facelift, Summer Film Series Moves to IMAX
The Paramount Theatre is closing its doors for a facelift, but the Summer Classic Film Series will continue at the State Theatre and the Bullock Museum IMAX Theatre.
Local Punk Rocker Chases ICE Agents Around Austin, Warns Drivers
Meet Limon Verde, the DIY punk rocker turned self-appointed ICE tracker, warning Austin's immigrant community one livestream at a time.
Austin City Council's Brilliant Plan: Remove Cameras That Could Catch Criminals!
In a stunning display of utter incompetence, Austin's city council has decided that the best way to combat the recent string of shootings and car thefts is to remove the very cameras that could help catch the culprits. Joe Rogan and tech bro Marc Andreessen discuss the sheer lunacy of this decision on a recent podcast episode, pointing out that if Austin still had those pesky Flock cameras, they probably would've caught the bad guys a lot quicker. But hey, who needs effective law enforcement when you can virtue signal about privacy concerns instead?
Miracle in Colony Park: City Finally Remembers Duties
In a shocking turn of events, the city of Austin has decided to throw the Colony Park neighborhood a bone after a mere decade of begging.
Texas Lawmakers Take Bold Stand Against Tofu Infiltration with 51% Law
Attention all patriotic Texans: put down your brisket and listen up!
EZ Dog Stay and Play: A Tragic Tale of Negligence and Deception in Kyle's Pet Care Industry
EZ Dog Stay and Play, a Kyle-based dog boarding facility, has been exposed for unsafe animal transport conditions and deceptive business practices after the tragic deaths of two dogs in their care.
Austin Student Released from ICE Detention, Threat of Deportation Looms Like a Loud Mariachi Band
Austin high school student Luis Fernando Cabrera was released from ICE detention just in time for graduation, marking a victory for the local community and a temporary reprieve from the ever-present threat of deportation.
High-Speed Chase Ends in Crash and Arrest of Three 'Master Criminals'
In a high-octane chase that would make Vin Diesel jealous, Kyle police arrested three individuals after a stolen vehicle pursuit ended in a crash. The suspects, who were found with 'locksmith tools', are believed to be part of a nefarious plot to commit vehicle burglaries.
UT Austin Students Getting More A's - Do Grades Even Matter Anymore?
In a shocking report, it was revealed that two-thirds of grades at UT Austin were A's, leading many to question the value of grades anymore in higher education.
Casting Call Seeks 'Unique and Quirky' Austinites, Pays in Avocado Toast Money
Attention all Austin-based broke millennials and Gen Zers: your time has come. Put down your matcha lattes and read on.
Mass Exodus: AISD Trustees Jump Ship Amid Chaos
In a shocking turn of events, four AISD trustees flee the sinking ship that is the school board, leaving us all to wonder: is anyone actually steering this thing?