"Get Out or Get Trampled": Texas Streamlines Evictions for Maximum Efficiency
Texas cracks down on squatters with new law that ensures evictions happen faster than you can say "gentrification."
Latest opinion
Austin Protesters Defend Maduro, Fail to Spell ‘Venezuela’ Correctly
Austin’s finest activists rally to defend a dictator, misspell Venezuela, and question egg prices in a protest that accomplished absolutely nothing.
BREAKING: North Austin 'Officer Injury' Just Another Deep State BBQ Distraction
While the mainstream media spins a tale of an injured officer, the truth is far more sinister—and possibly involves vegan leather.
EXCLUSIVE: Suicide Prevention Team or Government Spy Ring? The Shocking Truth Behind Williamson County’s Latest ‘Outreach’ Program
Williamson County’s new suicide prevention team has raised eyebrows—and not just because of its noble intentions. Conspiracy theorists are calling it a thinly veiled government plot to monitor grieving families. Here’s why.
Austin’s Great Venezuelan Protest Debacle: Three People, a Cowbell, and a Whole Lot of Confusion
Austin’s Venezuelan community reacts to Maduro’s capture with prayer, protests, and the kind of scheduling chaos only a Texas capital could produce.
Polar Bear Plunge or Mass Hysteria? A Westlake Mom’s Scathing Take on Austin’s Chilliest Tradition
Heather Worthington, Westlake’s self-appointed arbiter of sanity, weighs in on the annual Barton Springs madness.
Texas’ Firework Regulations: A Deep State Plot to Steal Your Freedom (And Your Fun)
The government’s latest plot to control your fireworks—and your freedom—has been exposed. Here’s what they don’t want you to know.
Austin 2025: A Year of Tragedies, Conspiracies, and Buc-ee’s
Austin’s 2025 headlines read like a dystopian parody—floods, shootings, and a *Gulf of America*. But don’t worry, it’s just another year in the city that *used* to be weird.
Texas to New Year’s Revelers: ‘You’ve Had Enough Fun, Go Home’
Texas' alcohol laws are here to ruin your New Year's Day—because nothing says 'celebration' like government-mandated sobriety.
Austin Energy’s $735M Grid Plan: More Money, More Problems (And Probably More Blackouts)
Austin Energy's $735M "resiliency" plan is just another expensive band-aid for a grid held together by duct tape and wishful thinking, writes our resident conspiracy theorist.
Rabid Fox or Deep State Bioweapon? The Truth They Don’t Want You to Know
Hays County officials confirm a dead fox had rabies, but Alex Jaxon sees a darker conspiracy—globalists using wildlife to push vaccines and veganism.
Austin’s 2026 New Year’s Dining Guide: Because Resolutions Are for Quitters
A scathing, over-the-top take on Austin's dining options for New Year's—because nothing says 'fresh start' like questionable life choices and a side of fries.
K9 Jax’s Suspicious "Retirement": A Tail of Corruption, Spin Moves, and Big Kibble
Was K9 Jax’s untimely death just bad luck—or part of a deeper conspiracy? Alex Jaxon investigates the *real* story behind Austin’s fallen furry hero.
GOVERNMENT DECLARES WAR ON FIREWORKS: THE GLOW STICK AGENDA EXPOSED
The Travis County burn ban is just another ploy by the no-fun deep state to crush your patriotic spirit—here's why you should ignore it.
City of Austin Discovers Homeless People Exist (But Only When It’s Cold)
Austin’s unhoused population gets its annual 12-hour reprieve from freezing to death, courtesy of a shelter system that treats survival like a scavenger hunt.
Texas Cities Ranked for NYE: From 'Meh' to 'Why Bother?'
WalletHub's latest rankings prove Texas cities are... fine, if you like fireworks, Denny's, and existential dread.
Texas' 2026 Laws Exposed: Globalist Plot or Just More Government Nonsense?
Texas' new laws for 2026 are here, and if you believe they're just about taxes and evictions, I've got a bridge in Marfa to sell you.
Austin Wins Participation Trophy for Being Fourth-Best at Being Overcrowded
Austin reclaims its spot as Texas' fourth-largest city, proving once again that people will move here no matter how unaffordable it gets.
Mulch Ado About Nothing: A Westlake Mom’s Guide to Dumping Your Christmas Regrets
Heather Worthington, Westlake’s self-appointed arbiter of holiday etiquette, weighs in on the *real* meaning of Christmas tree recycling—because someone has to.
Highway to Hell: Austin’s Latest ‘Accident’ Smells Like a Deep State Driver’s Ed Conspiracy
Another 'accidental' wrong-way crash? Or a sinister plot to usher in the age of self-driving oppression? Alex Jaxon investigates.