Subway Surfer or Suburban Savior? Austin’s Latest Traffic Debacle
Austin’s traffic woes hit a new low—literally—when a man barricaded himself under an on-ramp, prompting a SWAT response and gridlock that made rush hour look like a Zen retreat.
Latest opinion
Texas Bans Smokable THC Again—Because Freedom Is Just a Suggestion
Texas reinstates ban on smokable THC in a move that's about as consistent as a politician's promises.
Hantavirus Hoax: How the Elites Are Using Cruise Ships to Track Your Every Move
In a stunningly convenient 'outbreak,' two Texans are being monitored after a cruise ship incident that reeks of deep-state manipulation and media complicity.
Walmart's Renovation Rampage: Because Austin Needed More Fluorescent-Lit Despair
Walmart's latest 'upgrades' in Austin promise to make shopping more efficient, but Merrick Cruz isn't buying the corporate hype—or anything else from their aisles.
Deep State Floods Texas Camps with Nonsense Regulations to Brainwash Your Kids
In a shocking twist, Texas summer camps are being forced into compliance with 'safety' regulations that reek of deep state manipulation—because nothing says freedom like fiber-optic cables in the woods.
NTSB's Tofu-Tainted Report: Why the Wimberley Plane Crash Is Another Deep State Conspiracy
In a shocking delay that screams cover-up, the NTSB plans to take a month to release a report on the Wimberley crash—just enough time for the deep state to hide the tofu-fueled truth.
Pulitzer Prizes Revealed as Elitist Plot to Distract Texans From Real Issues
Award-winning journalism or Deep State propaganda? Alex Jaxon exposes the sinister truth behind Texas' latest Pulitzer Prizes.
Spandex and Sympathy: The Gentle Ride to Nowhere
A satirical take on a veteran cycling event that's more about performative patriotism than punk ethos.
Deep State Targets Texas Football: Coach Arrest Exposes Elite Plot to Corrupt Our Youth
A satirical take exposing the alleged deep state conspiracy behind a high school coach's arrest, written in the style of Alex Jaxon.
Deep State Distraction? South Lamar Crash Smells Like Elite Cover-Up
A satirical take on a tragic event, questioning the narrative and uncovering 'hidden agendas' behind a recent fatal crash in Austin.
South Congress Hotel Fire: Tofu Conspiracy or Just Hot Rags?
Alex Jaxon exposes the 'oily rags' cover-up as a Deep State plot to destroy barbecue culture.
Deep State Derailment: How Austin's Train Wreck is a Plot to Control Your Commute
A satirical take on the recent Austin train derailment, exposing the 'deep state' conspiracy behind calls to relocate freight rail.
Teacher Appreciation Week: Because a Gift Card Solves Everything!
A scathing take on the annual tradition of thanking teachers with trinkets while ignoring their struggles.
Deep State Drama: Exonerated Woman's Freedom Is Just Another Elitist Distraction
A heartwarming exoneration story masks a deep state conspiracy to undermine Texan values and keep us distracted from the real threats.
Poll: Texans Worried About Economy, But Still Falling for Deep State Lies (Satire)
A satirical take on how 'polls' are just another tool for the elite to manipulate hardworking Texans into accepting a dystopian tofu-filled future.
Pickleball Panic: How Globalists Used a Plane Crash to Strike at Heartland America
Alex Jaxon exposes the deep state's plot to eradicate pickleball by sabotaging a plane full of unsuspecting players.
An Ode to the Art of Getting Paid: Why My Guitar Weeps
In which our punk columnist Merrick Cruz processes the news that a choreographer just won over half a million dollars for making garbage trucks dance.
Nurse's 'Miracle' Recovery: A Deep State Distraction Plot?
A satirical take on a Texas nurse's recovery, exposing the 'deep state' conspiracy behind her honeymoon medical emergency.
Chemtrails and Cover-Ups: The Real Story Behind the Wimberley 'Plane Crash'
Authorities claim a tragic accident, but the truth is far more sinister—and tasteless.
Texas Registration Fines: A Deep-State Cash Grab to Fund Tofu Takeover
Alex Jaxon exposes how Texas' car registration fines are just another deep-state ploy to fund their tofu agenda and track your every move.