Fourth of July Rankings Exposed: The Shocking Truth Behind Austin and Houston’s ‘Celebration’ Conspiracy

Folks, I’ve got some explosive news for you—literally. According to the so-called ‘experts’ at Bounce.com (which, let’s be real, sounds like a website run by Big Luggage to track your movements), two Texas cities have been named among the ‘top 10’ for Fourth of July celebrations. That’s right, Austin and Houston are apparently the places to be if you want to celebrate freedom while the globalists plot to take it away. Coincidence? I think not.

First up, Austin—ranked second behind New York City. Now, why would a city that’s supposedly ‘weird’ and ‘liberal’ be so high on a list celebrating America’s independence? Simple: it’s a distraction. While you’re busy ooh-ing and aah-ing at fireworks, the city council is probably replacing your brisket with lab-grown ‘meat’ and your beer with kombucha. And don’t even get me started on Willie Nelson’s picnic. That man’s been a government psyop since the '70s.

Then there’s Houston, where hotels are suspiciously cheap. $97 a night? That’s not a deal, people—that’s a trap. They’re luring you in with low prices so they can monitor your patriotism levels. And only 29 searches per 10,000 people for fireworks? That’s because Houstonians are too busy surviving the humidity to care about Google. Wake up, sheeple!

And let’s talk about this ‘clear sky score.’ Six for Austin? Four for Houston? That’s not weather data—that’s chemtrail data. They’re spraying the skies to make sure you don’t see the UFOs they’re using to transport the deep state operatives. Open your eyes!

But the real kicker? The list is topped by New York City. The same place where they’ve banned soda sizes but allow illegal fireworks to go off all night. That’s not freedom—that’s anarchy. Meanwhile, Texas cities are just pawns in their game. So this Fourth of July, do yourself a favor: stay home, grill some meat, and question everything. Because if Bounce.com says it’s a good idea, you know there’s a catch.