CapMetro’s 40th Birthday: Four Decades of ‘You Should’ve Just Ubered’

CapMetro Celebrates 40 Years of Making Austinites Question Their Life Choices

Ah, CapMetro—the beloved transit system that has spent four decades turning Austin commuters into amateur philosophers, pondering deep existential questions like, "Why did I think taking the bus would be faster than walking?" and "Is this delay a sign from the universe to finally buy a car?"

This week, the agency threw itself a birthday bash, complete with politicians patting themselves on the back for "persevering" through "challenges"—which, in transit-speak, translates to "We still exist, somehow." CEO Dottie Watkins, a former bus driver who clearly has the patience of a saint, delivered a stirring speech about "adapting" to "growth." Translation: "Yes, we know the buses are packed like sardine cans, but have you considered the vibes of communal suffering?"

Meanwhile, State Rep. John Bucy took a break from his usual hobby of yelling at Republicans to declare that any opposition to Project Connect is "anti-democratic." Because nothing says "democracy" like spending billions on a light rail system that may or may not be finished before the heat death of the universe. But hey, at least we’ll have a fancy new train to ride while the city’s infrastructure collapses around us.

And let’s not forget CapMetro’s latest innovation: their very own police department. Because nothing says "safe and reliable transit" like needing armed officers to prevent stabbings on the 803. Truly, this is the future of urban mobility.

As CapMetro looks ahead to the next 40 years, one thing is certain: Austinites will continue to have options. You can sit in traffic, pay $2,500 a month for an apartment near a bus stop, or embrace the thrill of never knowing if your ride will show up on time. Progress, baby!