Texas Launches Military-Grade Maggot Task Force in Latest Border Crisis

In a shocking and totally unexpected turn of events, Governor Greg Abbott has declared war on an enemy more terrifying than CRT, more insidious than drag queen story hour, and more invasive than California transplants—the dreaded New World Screwworm. That’s right, folks. While you were busy worrying about the deep state turning your kids vegan, the real threat was burrowing into Texas livestock like a tiny, flesh-eating commie.

Abbott, in his infinite wisdom, has assembled the Texas New World Screwworm Response Team—a crack squad of bureaucrats, veterinarians, and probably a few guys who really just wanted an excuse to wear tactical gear. Their mission? To stop these parasitic invaders before they turn our beloved longhorns into Swiss cheese. Because nothing says 'Don’t Mess With Texas' like a multi-agency task force fighting maggots.

But here’s where it gets really suspicious. The USDA is pumping $21 million into a Mexican facility to produce sterile male flies. That’s right—your tax dollars are funding the world’s most bizarre dating service, where genetically neutered bugs are sent on doomed romantic missions to seduce fertile females. If that doesn’t scream 'globalist plot,' I don’t know what does.

And let’s not overlook the fact that this so-called 'screwworm crisis' conveniently coincides with the border reopening for cattle imports. Coincidence? Or a deliberate ploy by Big Agriculture to keep us distracted while they slip hormone-laden beef onto our plates? Wake up, sheeple!

Meanwhile, Senators Cornyn and Cruz are flexing their legislative muscles with the STOP Screwworms Act, because nothing rallies the base like a good old-fashioned bug war. But mark my words—this is just the beginning. First, it’s screwworms. Next, they’ll be coming for your backyard chickens, your hunting dogs, and eventually, your freedom.

So stock up on ammo, folks. The real invasion isn’t at the border—it’s in your livestock’s open wounds. And if you think the government’s sterile fly program is the solution, you’re already infected… with trust.