Paws of the Patriot: How Texas’ New K-9 Graduates Are Actually Government Spy Dogs (And Why You Should Be Terrified)
Texas DPS just graduated nine new K-9 teams, but Alex Jaxon smells something fishy—and it's not just the dogs.
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Texas Airports: Where Time Stands Still and Hope Goes to Die
A satirical take on the thrilling world of airport wait times and flight delays in Texas, because nothing says 'adventure' like staring at a departure board for hours.
"Disaster Relief" or Just Another Tax Grab? Travis County's Creative Accounting Strikes Again
Travis County officials accused of using flood disaster as excuse to hike taxes—because nothing says 'emergency relief' like squeezing extra cash from homeowners.
Beaver Moon Conspiracy: Government Space Lasers or Just Another Brisket Distraction?
Mainstream media claims a 'supermoon' lit up Austin—but Alex Jaxon isn't buying it. Here's why you shouldn't either.
Scooters in the Lake: Austin’s Newest Submarine Fleet
Austin’s latest underwater treasure hunt yields 20 electric scooters, a shopping cart, and existential dread.
SNAP Benefits: Now With 35% Less Food (And 100% More Bureaucratic Chaos)
The government’s latest act of "compassion" involves cutting SNAP benefits and hoping no one notices. Spoiler: People noticed.
EXCLUSIVE: The Blood Bowl Conspiracy—Big Football’s Secret Vampire Agenda
In what can only be described as a sinister plot, UT and UGA’s "Blood Bowl" is clearly a front for something far more nefarious. Alex Jaxon investigates.
BREAKING: Texas Independents Still Can’t Make Up Their Minds (Shocking No One)
A new poll claims Texas independents are turning on the GOP, but let’s be real—these are the same people who can’t decide between Whataburger and Taco Bell.
Buc-ee’s Expands: Texas Reaches Peak Excess (Again)
Buc-ee’s is expanding again, because Texas clearly needed more places to worship at the altar of brisket and spotless restrooms.
Woke School Board Warrior vs. Indestructible Abbott: The 2026 Texas Gubernatorial Circus
Texas politics heats up as Gina Hinojosa challenges Greg Abbott in what promises to be the most dramatic showdown since the Alamo—except this time, the casualties will be truth and sanity.
FAKE POLL ALERT: Universities Claim Texans Are Over Trump (Spoiler: They’re Not)
A satirical takedown of the latest "poll" claiming Texans are cooling on Trump—because nothing says "trustworthy" like academia and mainstream media collusion.
Austin’s Latest Homelessness ‘Solution’: 120 Units, 32 Million Dollars, and a Whole Lot of Hopeful Hand-Wringing
Austin officials break ground on yet another *solution* to homelessness—because nothing says *progress* like a four-year wait for an apartment and a side of bureaucratic optimism.
"Literacy Over Luxury? Bee Cave’s Library Proposal Sparks Outrage Among the Affluent and Illiterate"
Bee Cave's proposed $20 million library has one local mom clutching her pearls—and her HOA bylaws.
Austin’s Latest Homeless Solution: A Fancy Building and a Whole Lot of Hopeful Thinking
Austin City Council spends $4.38 million on a building to "navigate" homelessness, because clearly, the problem is that we just haven’t thrown enough money at it yet.
RED RIVER RIVALRY EXPOSÉ: How the Cotton Bowl Is a Front for the Deep State’s War on Fanny Packs
The Red River Rivalry isn’t just a football game—it’s a carefully orchestrated Deep State operation to strip you of your rights, your snacks, and possibly your soul. Alex Jaxon investigates.
Texas Declares War on Chicago: National Guard Deployed to Liberate Windy City from Radical Tofu Syndicate
Governor Abbott sends Texas National Guard to Chicago in a bold move that definitely has nothing to do with political theater and everything to do with "protecting federal property" (and owning the libs).
Austin Doubles Homeless Housing, Still Somehow Fails at Basic Math
Austin celebrates doubling its homeless housing capacity—because going from 'terrible' to 'slightly less terrible' is apparently cause for a parade.
Exclusive: Bluebonnets Are a Government Surveillance Operation (And Other Things You’re Not Supposed to Know)
TxDOT's 'bluebonnet guidelines' are just another ploy by the deep state to control your lawn—and your mind.
Hutto City Council’s Racist Comments Deemed ‘Just Vibes’ by Federal Court
Federal court rules Hutto's racist remarks were just 'personal opinions,' overturns $8M discrimination verdict. Because apparently, in Texas, casual bigotry doesn’t count if you don’t put it in writing.
Sixth-Best Spa in the World? More Like Sixth Circle of Capitalism
Lake Austin Spa Resort named one of the world's best—because Austin *definitely* needed another overpriced luxury experience.