Tesla Deliveries Plummet 13%—Elon Too Busy Tweeting to Notice

In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming (except, you know, everyone with functioning eyeballs), Tesla’s latest delivery numbers have plummeted faster than Elon Musk’s credibility after another late-night Twitter rant. The company reported a staggering 13% drop in deliveries this quarter, proving once and for all that even the most cult-like devotion to a billionaire’s ego can’t defy basic economics.

Let’s break it down, folks. Tesla managed to deliver a whopping 384,122 vehicles this quarter—down from last year’s 443,956. That’s like selling fewer flamethrowers at a Burning Man afterparty. And before the fanboys start screeching about “supply chain issues,” let’s remember: Tesla’s biggest competitor isn’t Ford or GM—it’s Elon’s own inability to stop tweeting long enough to run a company.

But wait, there’s more! Tesla also produced 410,244 vehicles, which is basically the same as last year. So, to recap: They made roughly the same number of cars but sold fewer. That’s not a supply chain problem—that’s a demand problem. And by “demand problem,” I mean people are finally realizing that paying $60,000 for a car with panel gaps wider than the Grand Canyon might not be the best investment.

Meanwhile, Chinese EV manufacturers are eating Tesla’s lunch, proving once again that capitalism loves nothing more than watching a tech bro get humbled by actual competition. And let’s not forget the political backlash—because nothing says “I’m a stable genius” like cozying up to a former president who thinks windmills cause cancer.

So, what’s next for Tesla? Well, they’ll release their full financial results on July 23, right after Elon inevitably tweets something super normal about AI overlords or free speech absolutism. Until then, enjoy watching the stock price do its best impression of a SpaceX rocket—just, you know, in reverse.

Disclaimer: This article was written while vaping aggressively and listening to Joe Rogan debate whether Tesla’s drop in sales is actually a psyop by the deep state. Stay tuned.