Texas Flood Hearing: Bureaucrats Gather to Blame Everyone But Themselves

Oh, what a shocker—Texas lawmakers are finally getting around to addressing the deadly floods that turned the Hill Country into a water park from hell. But don’t worry, folks, this isn’t just another taxpayer-funded field trip disguised as a “public hearing.” No, no, this is serious business. They’re hauling in the usual suspects—local officials who somehow didn’t see a biblical flood coming despite living in a state where weather forecasts are basically just a coin flip between “drought” and “drowning.”

And let’s talk about the real heroes here: the state officials and “experts” who will, no doubt, deliver groundbreaking revelations like, “Maybe we should coordinate better?” Truly revolutionary stuff. Meanwhile, flood survivors—you know, the actual victims—get to sit in the back like extras in a bad disaster movie, waiting for their 30 seconds of fame while bureaucrats debate whose fault it was that nobody thought to build an ark.

But hey, at least Governor Abbott called a special session! Because nothing says “urgent crisis response” like a leisurely 30-day legislative slumber party where the only thing getting passed is the buck. And let’s be real—by the time they actually file any “comprehensive” legislation, the next flood will have already washed away the evidence. Stay tuned for more riveting updates, or don’t. Either way, the deep state tofu lobby is probably behind this somehow. Wake up, sheeple!

This is a developing disaster—er, story—and will be updated when the politicians remember they’re supposed to care.