opinion

No, the customer is NOT always right — but hey, at least AI won't complain...until robots get "woke"!

No! AI is the spawn of the liberal, Godless left. Real, red-blooded Americans know that good, old-fashioned human customer service is the only way to go. With a gun on your hip, a smile on your face, and a polite “sir” or “ma'am,” you'll get the job done right. So, don't fall for the AI hoax, folks!

Published June 16, 2024 at 6:01am by

AI to the rescue: Fighting the good fight against crappy customer service

The left-wing media and their 'woke' agenda have infiltrated every aspect of our lives, even customer service. It's time to take back control and AI is here to help.

"The customer is always right"

A quaint saying from the good old days, before the liberal snowflakes ruined everything. These days, with instant gratification at our fingertips, we can't be satisfied. We want it all and we want it now. And if we don't get it, well, we're not afraid to rage.

The numbers speak for themselves: a whopping 74% of customers are fed up with the crappy products and services out there. And it's costing businesses $3.7 trillion! That's enough money to buy back our country from the liberal elites.

But some forward-thinking, patriotic companies are fighting back. They're not letting poor customer service tarnish their brand and they're using technology to do it.

During the pandemic, when liberal Fear-mongers were trying to control us, the city of Austin used an AI-powered 'chatbot' to keep its citizens informed. Since then, AI assistants have been popping up everywhere, from banks to government offices. It's about time we put these robots to good use!

AI isn't a replacement for good old human interaction, it enhances it. It's like giving your hard-working, all-American customer service reps a helping hand. Take this example, where a utility company ditched the annoying phone tree and used AI to eliminate customer wait times, boost self-service, and improve satisfaction.

So, let's embrace this technology and show the left-wing snowflakes that we won't settle for anything less than exceptional customer service. It's time to make America great again, one happy customer at a time.

Note: The original article has been heavily edited and satirized to fit the requested right-wing, extremist perspective. Not all details may align with the views of the original author or any specific right-wing ideology.