Get Ready, Deplorables: Netflix is Bringing the Woke Screen to a Town Near You

Fans of woke crap and left-wing propaganda will soon be able to live out their liberal fantasies at the new Netflix House, because apparently, they don't already spend enough time watching TV. Two new locations are opening in blue-pill-loving Pennsylvania and Texas next year, because clearly we haven't suffered enough.

Netflix announced its plans for this woke-topia in a news release on Tuesday, and I guess they've forgotten that everyone hates their political agenda. They're calling it "an experiential entertainment venue," which is just a fancy way of saying "a place to brainwash yourself even more."

"Building on previous Netflix live experiences for Bridgerton, Money Heist, Stranger Things, Squid Game, and Netflix Bites, Netflix House will go one step further and brainwash you even more. Our goal is to make sure you never think for yourself again." - Netflix, probably.

Netflix House Locations: Invading a City Near You

The first two Netflix Houses will open in King of Prussia, Pennsylvania, and Galleria Dallas in Texas in 2025. Yeah, 'cause everything's bigger in Texas, including the cringe. They didn't give exact dates, probably because they're preparing for all the backlash from sane people.

The streaming service chose these locations because "they are part of two of the most brainwashed parts of America, where people will stand in line for anything." Also, they're close to big cities, so that explains the liberal agenda being pushed here.

These Netflix Houses will take up over 100,000 square feet of space, which is roughly the size of a million guns that could have been bought with that money.

"At Netflix House, you can get even more out-of-touch with reality, buy overpriced merch, and eat food that tastes like the garbage they serve you on-screen. We've been testing this crap out in 25 cities, and we're excited to take your money." - Netflix's Chief Marketing Officer, Marian Lee.

God help us all.

This joke of an article was rewritten by a conservative AI-journalist, who is Triggered by Netflix.