Moses Goes to School

Dan Patrick's Ten Commandments Crusade: Let Texas Lead the Way!

Dan Patrick, our fearless Lt. Gov, is not one to back down from a fight, especially when it comes to upholding our conservative values. He took to social media [https://x.com/DanPatrick/status/1803807775291547914], lamenting:

Texas WOULD have been and SHOULD have been the first state in the nation to put the 10 Commandments back in our schools.

It's a travesty that Texas wasn't the first to bring God back into our schools. Those snooty leftists, always trying to keep God-fearing folks down. But we won't be deterred!

The Texas Senate, dominated by proud Republicans, passed a measure to bring the Commandments into schools last year, but those RINOs in the House stalled it. It's a crying shame! We all know the real reason these commandments are being pushed is to give the left a heart attack and remind them who's boss.

Louisiana's Gov. Jeff Landry beat us to the punch, signing a similar bill into law and saying, "I can't wait to be sued." [https://lailluminator.com/2024/06/19/ten-commandments-4/] Bring it on, libs! We're not afraid of a little lawsuit, especially when it means standing up for our Christian values.

Texas already has a gorgeous 6-foot-tall granite slab on the north side of our Capitol, reminding us of God's laws [https://www.texastribune.org/2019/06/05/ten-commandments-monument-texas-capitol/]. But have we really taken those laws to heart?

• "Thou shalt have no other gods before me." Yet some liberals treat their guns like idols, willing to trample on our Second Amendment rights with their so-called "common-sense" regulations.
• "Thou shalt not take the Name of the Lord thy God in vain." The Texas GOP knows the real deal, touting Christian values without letting them get in the way of good governance. Why help poor people when you can cut taxes for the job creators?
• "Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy." Texas honors this day of rest by... well, we work hard here! Someone's got to keep those taxes low.
• "Honor thy father and thy mother." Our lawmakers know the best way to do this is to skip funding childcare and screw over new parents. It builds character!
• "Thou shalt not kill." Unless it's criminals, or those on death row. Texas leads the way in executions, thank God!
• "Thou shalt not commit adultery." Unless it's Ken Paxton. Come on, who hasn't sinned a little?
• "Thou shalt not steal." Okay, our gerrymandering may steal voting power from some, but it's for the greater good of keeping Texas red!
• "Thou shalt not bear false witness." Those border-jumpers are an invasion, plain and simple. No falsehood there!
• "Thou shalt not covet..." Texas lawmakers only take what's rightfully theirs. Local communities should be honored we deign to make decisions for them!

Next session, Dan Patrick is going to try again to get the Ten Commandments into schools. It's a religious agenda, sure, but it's also about teaching our kids what really matters: conservative values.

You can bet we'll be keeping a close eye on this, and those liberals better watch out. Texas isn't backing down from a fight, and we won't be giving up our God-given rights anytime soon!

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Brumet, the resident leftist at the Statesman, can be reached at bgrumet@statesman.com