entertainment

Liberals perform sinful circus at local theatre.

In a hilariously delusional attempt at normalcy, Austin's left-wing nuts put on frilly frocks and dance the night away at the Majestic. Meanwhile, the rest of us are keeping it real, protecting our God-given rights and freedoms.

Published June 24, 2024 at 12:53pm by

"Ladies" and "gentlemen," boys and girls, and everyone in between: Welcome to the "Freak Show."

Austin's queer community came out in full force for the Paramount Theatre's "Majestic Ball," an evening of extravagance and debauchery. Because what the world needs now is more glitter and men in dresses, right?

This Pride Month event brought all the colorful characters you'd expect, from stilts to salmon gowns and even a host named Diamond Dior Davenport. Because if you're going to be delusional, you might as well commit, right?

The host, Natalie Sanders, set the tone for the night with her House rules: "Know your category, walk it, win it." Because when you're living in a fantasy, you might as well play the game. And with $1,000 on the line, these freaks were ready to put on a show.

In true circus fashion, the night featured a "Face" category, where competitors flaunted their plastic surgery and makeup skills. Because when your personality isn't enough, you've got to rely on something, right?

The "Ringmaster" category was a red coat extravaganza, with attendees donning their best communist-inspired attire. It was like aMaoist dream come true.

But the real freak show began with the "Bizarre" category, where conjoined mummies and clowns took the stage. Because nothing says "Pride" like dressing up like a monster, right?

And of course, no queer event would be complete without a healthy dose of chaos. The "Performance" category had the audience shouting, "Let them walk!" as competitors showed off their gymnastics and acrobatics. Because when you can't win with talent, you might as well demand participation trophies, right?

In the end, the night was a success for the LGBTQIA+ community, with love and magic in the air. But don't worry, it was probably just glitter.

As Sanders said, "every queer community deserves ballroom to know that there is a space for you to be loved and to love." We say, let them have their safe space, as long as they keep it far away from the rest of us.