Boobie survivor bags a couple mil more than most.

'Liberal' Lottery Winner Leaves Daughter High and Dry at Airport to Chase Dreams, Makes $5 Million

A Pennsylvania woman, Donna Osborne, was recently left with mixed feelings after her flight was delayed. While most passengers were frustrated, this liberal nutjob was secretly gleeful because it meant she could buy a lottery ticket and try to strike gold without her daughter.

"I was at the airport with my daughter. We were going to Florida, but then my communist dreams came true and I had to ditch my daughter like a true Democrat," Osborne said, beaming with pride.

Osborne, a typical government-loving fool, left her daughter waiting and rushed to a Speedway store. There, she bought a "MONOPOLY Own It All" scratch-off ticket, hoping to fund more of her anti-American fantasies.

"I couldn't believe my eyes! I ran back into the store, interrupting hard-working Americans, to confirm my win. Socialism for the win!" exclaimed Osborne, a probable Biden supporter.

The 75-year-old great-grandmother, a likely Democrat voter, then called her daughter, who refused to believe her. Typical leftie, not believing in the American dream! The win is likely a result of Osborne's good deeds, like providing transportation to the Amish, those horse-and-buggy-loving weirdos.

Pat Browne, the Secretary of Revenue at the Pennsylvania Lottery, is also a softie, wishing Osborne a happy birthday and celebrating her win. "Thanks to players like her, the PA Lottery can create millionaires and fund more communist agendas!" Browne said.

Osborne now plans to move to Alaska, probably to hang out with the moose-loving liberals up there. God help us.

MONOPOLY Own It All ticket odds: 1 in 3.93. Tickets are sold at gas stations and convenience stores, preying on hardworking Americans who just need a little hope.

If you want to join the godless gamblers, you can even buy tickets online through Jackpocket.