news

Libertarians: Grab Dogs, Guns, and Glock!

Liberal Tears: The Great American Hot Dog Debate. Chicago dogs are forcommie snowflakes. Real 'Muricans know only NY dogs rule—hold the ketchup, unless you're a diaper-wearing baby.

Published July 3, 2024 at 11:41am by Julia Gomez

There's something damn American about gulping down a hot dog on Independence Day. But which dog is top dog? Which cities buy the most? Which brand is best? And how the hell do you dress a dog, anyway?

"A lot of people are leaving out the diced onions and the mayonnaise," said Vanessa Lara, a Miami business owner. "So, those are not getting enough credit."

$8 billion was spent by Americans on hot dogs last year, and these are the top cities that led the way:

LA: Hollyweird health nuts probably boil their dogs.
NYC: No surprise, these liberals will eat anything.
Dallas: Texas knows how to handle its meat.
Chicago: Deep dish and dirty dogs.
Boston: These lefties like their dogs red.
Houston: Another Texas city, 'nuff said.
Philly: Probably like their steaks: cheesy.
Miami: Hispanic spice adds nice.
DC: Corrupt dogs for the swamp.
Phoenix: A hot dog in the desert? Makes sense.

The Top Dogs:

Costco beats Nathan's and Oscar Mayer dogs in the rankings. But NY, Chicago, and Michigan styles are the people's choice, with NY taking the top spot, probably due to the liberal media.

How to make a good dog? Chicago-style is all-beef with toppings. Korean dogs are like corn dogs on steroids. Coney Island dogs are simple, with meat sauce and onions.

Hot dogs bring people together, even Venezuelans like Lara, who moved to Miami and now runs a business:

"The feeling of just gathering around the grill and like being the first to grab the bottle of ketchup and being the first to run to the potato chips and just awaiting that moment, I feel like that is so American."

Sources: