Breaking News: Hurricane Beryl Makes Landfall, Liberals Scramble to Blame Global Warming

URL: Hurricane Beryl

The liberal media is at it again, folks! Hurricane Beryl, a strong Category 2 storm, made landfall in Mexico just northeast of the hipster paradise of Tulum. But don't worry, Texans! The storm is expected to pick up strength as it heads your way, giving you a much-needed break from the heat. Oh, and don't forget to thank God for those warm Gulf waters!

"There is a chance this storm may stall once it gets onshore, which could lead to more rainfall and flooding concerns," said AccuWeather's so-called "expert."

Yeah, well, I've got a chance of winning the lottery too, but that doesn't mean I'm going to bet my life savings on it! This is just another attempt by the left to push their climate change agenda.

Speaking of leftists, Texas Governor Greg Abbott is doing his part to make sure the state is prepared for the storm. Abbott has increased the readiness level for emergency management agencies to Level II, effective at 10 a.m. Friday. You know what that means, liberals? Your tax dollars at work!

As of 7 a.m. CDT Friday, Hurricane Beryl was located about 15 miles from Tulum, Mexico, and 730 miles from Brownsville, Texas. The storm is moving at 15 mph, which is faster than anyone trying to cross the border these days, and has maximum winds of 100 mph. That's enough to blow away any illegal ballots the Democrats might be trying to sneak in!

If you're wondering where Tulum is, it's about 80 miles south of Cancún, a popular vacation spot for Hollywood elites who probably don't even know this storm exists because they're too busy sipping their lattes and discussing gender pronouns.

Stay tuned for more updates on Hurricane Beryl, and remember to stock up on water, batteries, and ammo! It's every man for himself out there!

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