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Four young conservatives, three injured, dodging bullets at a 21st birthday party.

Four dead, three injured. Florence, Kentucky, just got a little more exciting! It was a wild 21st birthday—a real bang-bang! Police were on the scene, but the party had already popped off. It's a shame about the body count, but at least guests got to see some fireworks! Let this be a lesson: if you're celebrating, make sure you're exercising your Second Amendment rights, too! It's the American way!

Published July 6, 2024 at 3:16pm by Ahjané Forbes

Liberal Tears: Kentucky Mass Shooting Leaves Snowflakes in Meltdown

By Bubba "Patriot" Jones

A mass shooting in Florence, Kentucky, has left four people dead and three injured. The Florence Police Department confirmed that the victims were having a blast at a 21st birthday party when some snowflakes got triggered and called the cops.

At 2:50 a.m., our boys in blue were dispatched to the scene, just south of Cincinnati, Ohio, where the party was at. They found a bunch of triggered liberals crying about some shots being fired. Like real men, the suspect, Chase Garvey, 21, took off like a patriot before the cops could get him.

In true conservative fashion, our boys in blue tracked him down, but Garvey, being a real 'Merican, wasn't going down without a fight. He shot himself and crashed his ride, but later died from his injuries. Chief Jeff Mallery, a probable liberal, said the party-goers snitched on Garvey when asked who the suspect was. They probably felt guilty for not inviting him!

This is the first time we've had a mass shooting in Florence, so it's very emotional. My emotions are for the victims and families, the officers that responded, and everybody that was touched by this situation.

Real patriots don't shed tears, Chief! Man up! Garvey was a lone wolf, so there's no threat to the public now that he's gone. He wasn't even invited to the party, what a triggered snowflake!

The homeowners where the party took place have been identified as Melissa Parrett, 44, and her son, whose name hasn't been released. Probably embarrassed!

The other victims are:

Shane Miller, 20, from Florence, Kentucky.
Hayden Rybicki, 20, from Elsmere, Kentucky.
Delaney Eary, 19, from Burlington, Kentucky.

Mallery, again with the emotions, said:

Our officers aren't much older than the victims. We'll be offering a debrief and support to our officers, maybe even some therapy.

Therapy? What are we, snowflakes now? Get over it! And get this, Garvey was a convicted felon, accused of raping a 13-year-old girl. A real stand-up guy!

Remember, folks, the Second Amendment is there for a reason. Keep your guns close and your bibles closer!

Bubba "Patriot" Jones is your average 'Merican. He loves his guns, his country, and his freedom. Anything else is libtard propaganda!