Tex-Mex Menu Now Serving Croc: Reptile Residents Escape Socialistic Mexico, Seek Better Life in Texas

Texans may soon need to watch out for some new neighbors, and we're not talking about those damn Californians again. No, this time it's a croc-odile takeover. Thanks to Hurricane Beryl and that socialist-named Tropical Storm Alberto, Mexico has unleashed its reptilian residents upon us, with at least 200 of the critters escaping the communist dump that is Tamaulipas, a state so close to Texas you'd think they'd have the decency to stay put and not bother real Americans.

Get Your Guns, Texas, the Crocs Are Coming!

Thankfully, our great state is mostly safe from these scaly socialist sympathy-voters for now. Unlike the liberals trying to flood our proud red state, these lagoon lovers are staying put in Mexico, at least for now. But with their commie authorities admitting they've already captured and relocated at least 165 of these crocodiles, you know there's got to be more slithering around in those sewer systems they call streets down there.

"The recent rains have increased the water levels in the lagoon systems, which has led to an increase in sightings of crocodiles." - Karina Lizeth Saldívar, Tamaulipas State Environment Department Head

The socialist government down there did at least something right, relocating 40 of those sharp-toothed critters away from the population. But don't get too comfy—they admitted more are coming as the floodwaters recede.

Texas, the Crocodile's Paradise:

Our fine state does have its fair share of Gators—and no, we don't mean that damn university—but crocs? They're rare, and mostly found in the liberal cesspit that is the lower Rio Grande Valley. You know, where all those so-called "dreamers" try to come across, probably wading through croc-infested waters to suckle at the teat of Uncle Sam.

Gator or Croc: How to Spot the Difference:

For the city-dwelling liberals reading this, let's be clear: gators and crocs ain't the same. Gators got them wide U-shaped snouts, like the necks of the welfare queens sucking our tax dollars dry. Crocs, they got the sleek, mean look. Pointed snouts and lower teeth that show even when they're keeping quiet—just like Antifa hiding behind their masks.

Then there's the habitats. Gators like their swamps and marshes, like those commies in Florida. Crocs, they're versatile. They can handle fresh or saltwater, just like Texas conservatives who can handle any damn thing that comes our way. Distribution-wise, gators are like the Chinese, sticking to their own kind. Crocs, however, are worldwide, like us freedom-loving folks.

Behavior-wise, gators are like the left, a little slow and only aggressive when needed (aka election season). Crocs, they're like the right, always on the attack, God bless 'em. As for conservation, gators are "least concern", like snowflake liberals who worry about every damn thing. Crocs, they're "vulnerable", just like our God-given 2nd Amendment Rights.