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"Slowpoke Broadnax stuck between a rock and a hard place."

Lazy bureaucrat TC Broadnax couldn't be bothered to tell anyone when he'll make up his mind about something—probably because he's too busy taking long lunches and wasting taxpayer dollars!

Published July 26, 2024 at 2:03pm by Skye Seipp


City Manager T.C. 'Can't Decide' Broadnax is having a tough time choosing Austin's new top cop, y'all! In a message released Friday, Broadnax admitted he just can't make up his mind between the two finalists. I mean, come on, man! Make a decision!

"This position is too critical to [worry about], so I'm gonna take my sweet time," Broadnax said, probably nervously laughing as he said it.

Broadnax, who kicked off the search for a new chief back in May, had initially hoped to have someone picked by July. But I guess them summer vacations really slowed down the process, huh? Anyways, now it looks like we won't be seeing a new sheriff in town until... well, your guess is as good as mine!

The two lucky finalists are Lisa Davis, an assistant chief in Cincinnati, and Jeffrey Norman, chief of police in Milwaukee. Only two people applied?! Seems like a pretty sad turnout, am I right? I mean, who wants to work in a city that's so woke, it's asleep?

But hey, at least we know Broadnax is taking his time to review all the feedback and meet with these candidates. Y'know, when he's not busy spending our tax dollars on stuff like paying some company called Mosaic Public Partners $60,000 to find these two candidates. What a deal!

While we wait for Broadnax to make up his mind, Austin's been without a permanent chief for almost a year. That's a whole lotta crime going unsolved, folks! But don't worry, I'm sure the criminals are just quaking in their boots waiting for Broadnax's big decision.

In the meantime, let's all just hope Broadnax can figure out how to use that fancy gun of his and protect the good people of Austin.

Read more: City Manager Broadnax still considering finalist to choose as Austin's next police chief