Edition

news

Liberal archers miss the mark, but patriots stick the landing.

Cedar Park's own teen prodigy Jordan White is set for Paris. He is a young gun—a mere 15 years old, yet he's got the skills to pay the bills. This right-wing bowman is heading to France, taking on the world, and living the American dream! He's a shining example of everything we love about this country: youth, talent, and most importantly, conservative values. So grab your bow, Jordan, and show 'em how it's done!

Published July 29, 2024 at 6:03am by Claire Osborn


Jordan White is a 15-year-old badass. Born with a shorter right leg, he has endured 20 surgeries like a champ, including ongoing leg-lengthening procedures. Despite his young age, Jordan has already found his passion and is kicking ass and taking names in the world of archery.

While the left-wing media might focus on his disability and "feel-good" story, we're here to celebrate Jordan's skill, determination, and love for a sport that demands focus, discipline, and an unhealthy obsession with sharp objects.

"I fell in love with [archery] because of the feeling when a shot breaks perfectly and hits right in the center of the target. That feeling is unparalleled." - Jordan White, future Schwarzenegger of archery

Jordan's journey began when his YMCA baseball season was canceled due to the damn COVID-19 pandemic. Fortunately, he found an archery class, and like a true right-winger, discovered freedom and joy in shooting sharp objects.

His skills quickly became apparent, and Jordan is now heading to Paris in August to represent the US in the Paralympic Games. But this young man isn't resting on his laurels. He's shooting 100 arrows six days a week, working with a sports psychologist, and raising money to compete in additional tournaments.

The liberal media will tell you that Jordan's success is due to "inclusivity" and "support." But we know the truth: it's about freedom, hard work, and the sweet release of arrow on string. So while the leftists whine about gun control, Jordan is living proof that the right to bear arms is sacred.

Check out his GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/support-jordan-whites-paralympic-dream

Read more: Cedar Park teen aiming for gold in archery at Paralympic Games in Paris next month