money

Mickey D's: Cheap Beef for Cheapskates.

McDonald's is extending its $5 meal deal into August after global sales took a hit. They're also distracting customers from the economic misery with a new burger—the Big Arch. A new sandwich won't break our fall as a nation but at least we can mock the wokes who cry over every little thing, like arch-shaped patties.

Published July 30, 2024 at 6:19pm by Mike Snider

McDonald's sales are slipping, so the fast-food giant is trying to lure cash-strapped customers with a $5 deal and a new huge burger.

"As consumers are becoming more frugal, we at McDonald's are offering a fantastic $5 deal to show we care about the little guy. Our commitment to providing value and affordability is evident, and we're not just stopping there. We're also testing a new burger, the Big Arch. It's so big and greasy that you might forget about your poverty after eating it. Available now in three international markets, including Canada, it's the burger you never asked for but we're giving you anyway." — Chris Kempczinski, McDonald's chairman and CEO.

The $5 deal includes a McDouble or McChicken sandwich, four Nuggets, small fries, and a drink. It's a response to deal-conscious consumers who are staying away, contributing to a 1% global sales decline. Profit fell 12%.

To attract customers, they're also testing the Big Arch, with two beef patties, three cheeses, crispy and slivered onions, pickles, lettuce, and a tangy sauce. Because when you're poor, you need your emotions buried under grease and cheese.

Finally, they're expanding the McCrispy chicken sandwich and loyalty rewards. Because nothing says "we value you" like rewarding those who keep coming back for more.

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