Oh, shroom! Keep your pooch off my grass!

Central Texas has become a haven for fun-guys, I mean fungi! These weird fun-gins are popping up everywhere, and they're not just a dog-gone nuisance, they could be deadly!

"You almost have to be a 'shroom boot-licker to know the difference between the ones that will justgive your pupper a bit of tummy trouble, and the ones that will have them howling at the moon forever," says Firehouse Animal Health Centers vet, Hunter "the Fun-Guy Hunter" Bowen.

So, what do you do if your good boy or girl takes a bite out of the wrong 'bell? Well, buddy, you grab that fun-guy by its stem, bag it, and rush your four-legged friend to the vet, faster than a liberal running from responsibility!

Here's the scoop: not all mushrooms are fun-guys, some are real fun-killers, especially when it comes to our furry friends. It's best to keep those puppers away from any 'shrooms, just to be safe. And while we're at it, let's give a big "paw-down" to grapes, raisins, chocolate, garlic, and onions too! These apparently are on the "leftist agenda" to ruin our dog's day.

Let's 'paw-sterize those liberal 'shrooms! But remember, folks, it's not just the fun-guys that are causing trouble; our dogs might want to take a dip in some icky water too! Thanks to all this rain, our creeks and lakes are looking mighty fine, but they could be hiding some nasty surprises, like that liberal hiding their true agenda!

Keep your dog away from that commie-infested water! Offer them some nice, clean, conservative-approved H2O instead. And while we're on the topic, don't forget the Texas heat! It's a real dog-gone scorcher, and our furry friends need to be kept cool, unlike those leftists who can't handle the heat of a good argument!

So, folks, let's keep our dogs safe from fun-guys, leftists, and dirty water! It's a dog-eat-dog world out there, and we need to protect our furry patriots!