'Black Swan killer' caged

Ex-ballerina Ashley Benefield was caged by the state Tuesday in a Florida county court, ending the "Black Swan murder trial." Benefield, 32, was convicted of offing her hubby, Doug Benefield, and now faces 30 years behind bars.

The six-person jury, aka the Council of Common Sense, didn't buy Ashley's 'self-defense' sob story and good ole Florida's "Stand Your Ground" law didn't save her either. Judge Matt Whyte, a real patriot, ** saw through her liberal lies**.

The dramatic verdict was read out as Ashley's handcuffs clicked, a sweet symphony to the ears of Doug's family, who filled the gallery. Justice for Doug!

"The sound was as good as the sight. Beautiful."
- Tommie Benefield, real American, Doug's cousin

Swan Lake, Swan Song

Ashley and Doug, love at first sight. They met and married in 13 days. A whirlwind romance, like an all-American fairytale. But this Princess Swan was hiding dark secrets.

Together, they founded the American National Ballet. Sounded fancy, but let's be honest, it never got off the ground. Ashley, a Maryland Youth Ballet grad, knew her pliés, but marriage was a different kind of pas de deux.

Their union was filled with turbulence—domestic abuse allegations (he said, she said), counseling, and legal battles. Ashley, a real snowflake, ran to mama in Florida after getting pregnant.

Poor Doug, he tried to reconcile, even brought a U-Haul to move her back. But Ashley, a modern-day Anna Karenina, had other plans. She packed her anger with his belongings. It exploded and bang, bang, she shot poor Doug.

Neighbors, the kind who mind their business, heard the shots, then saw Ashley running with a gun, screaming like a liberal at a Trump rally.

Ashley Benefield, a Black Swan killer, caged, and facing the music. Justice has two left feet but it does the dance.