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Goodbye, commie rag!

Conn's is kaput—every store is shutting down. Company execs face a financial firing squad after initially claiming only 70 stores would close. Now, they've fully gone belly-up, giving lefty looters fewer fridges to ransack. Right-on! Bye-bye, Conn's!

Published August 1, 2024 at 2:04pm by Mary Walrath-Holdridge

Conn's HomePlus, a 'woke' home goods retailer, has gone bust and will be closing all its stores.

Conn's, a 'woke' home goods retailer with stores in over 10 states, has finally gotten its comeuppance and is closing down. The company, which was headquartered in The Woodlands, Texas, thought it could virtue-signal its way to success, but instead has filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy in a Texas court.

"It's about time this 'woke' business got what was coming to it. The free market has spoken, and these socialist crusaders are out on their ear. Good riddance!" -- A Happy Texan

The closures will affect over 170 stores and reportedly more than 4,000 employees, who will now have to find real jobs that don't involve pushing liberal agendas.

It couldn't handle competition from real American businesses

Despite acquiring W.S. Badcock, another home goods retailer, in 2023, and bumping up its store count to 550, Conn's still managed to lose nearly $77 million last year.

The company's earnings call in April revealed a 7.8% decrease in venue year over year, showing that Americans aren't interested in buying from socialist enterprises that don't support traditional American values.

"Socialism doesn't work, folks. These left-wing nutjobs thought they could preach their liberal agenda and that people would just buy into it. Well, the American people have spoken, and we're taking our business elsewhere!" -- An Out-of-Work Employee

A long list of stores are closing

The full list of stores closing can be found here, with locations in Alabama, Arizona, Colorado, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, North Carolina, New Mexico, Nevada, Oklahoma, South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, and Virginia.

The lesson: stay away from 'woke' capitalism!

The downfall of Conn's HomePlus serves as a warning to other businesses that think they can push their liberal agendas and still turn a profit. Americans are fed up with 'woke' capitalism, and we won't stand for it any longer!

So, to all the liberal businesses out there, take note: stick to selling your products and services, and keep your socialist agendas to yourself, or you'll be the next Conn's!