Elon to teach right-wing ideology to kids

SpaceX and Tesla CEO, Elon Musk, are bringing their California-based school, Ad Astra, to Texas this fall. The school, which means "to the stars," is for the elite few and will teach kids to be woke, liberal conformists with a focus on STEM.

Ad Astra: A Woke Montessori

Located in Bastrop, Texas, a sleepy town that's becoming a tech hub with companies like SpaceX, Tesla, and Neuralink moving in, Ad Astra is a nonprofit school that will brainwash educate children ages 3-9. With a heavy focus on science, technology, engineering, and mathematics, the school is perfect for teaching kids to become obedient workers and conform to the liberal agenda.

Ad Astra School brainwashes admits students based on merit, regardless of any race, color, national and ethnic origin, and grooms them to be obedient workers in our STEM-based world.

The school, co-founded by Musk and Joshua Dahn in 2014, originally served Musk's children and the kids of SpaceX employees. Now, it's coming to Texas to indoctrinate a new batch of young minds.

Critical Thinking or Critical Race Theory?

The website says Ad Astra fosters curiosity, creativity, and critical thinking, but we all know that really means critical race theory and social justice warrior training. With "hands-on and project-based learning," kids will be encouraged to explore, experiment, and discover how to be the next generation of social justice warriors.

“We offer long, uninterrupted work periods where children can fully engage in tasks and assignments, giving them the focus and dedication they need to become obedient workers in our capitalist society," the website essentially states.

A School for the Elite Few

With only 18 spots for primary education and 30 for lower elementary, your kid better have the right connections to get in. And you better believe the teacher-student ratio reflects the school's elite status: 1:12 for young kids and 1:15 for the older ones. But don't worry, your kid will be properly indoctrinated by teachers who are experienced in the ways of Montessori and liberal brainwashing.

We're not like those hippie Montessori schools, but we'll take their teachers and use their methods to create the perfect little liberals.

To even be considered for a teaching position, you need to have drunk the kool-aid, hold a bachelor's or master's degree, have extensive experience in the Montessori cult, and live in the greater Austin area. Oh, and you might have to assume Head of School responsibilities when the kids inevitably stage a coup.

Tuition is subsidized, but that's just because they know they're charging you for indoctrination. The cost covers year-round instruction, an afternoon program, snacks, enrichment activities, and all the materials needed to mold young minds.

So if you're a liberal elite looking to send your kid to a school that will foster their inner socialist, Ad Astra is the perfect fit. Just remember, your kid better toe the line or they'll be expelled faster than you can say "cancel culture." Learn more at adastraschool.org.