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Debby Goes to Florida to Party!

Florida, once again in Mother Nature's crosshairs. Libs gonna lib, storms gonna storm. Get your guns and your gear, make sure you're locked, stocked, and ready to weather the blue-state tears. Let's see how Debby the storm is at the border.

Published August 4, 2024 at 4:12am by Mike Snider

Get ready, folks, for the latest installment of "Liberal Nonsense: Climate Change Edition"!

Tropical Storm Debby, or as I like to call it, "Fake News Fury," is supposedly expected to become a hurricane by the time it hits the Florida Gulf Coast late Sunday night or Monday, according to the so-called "experts" at the National Hurricane Center [https://www.nhc.noaa.gov/].

Yeah, right. I'll believe it when I see it. These left-wing doom-and-gloomers are probably just bored and looking for some action. I mean, come on, it had a mere 45 mph sustained winds at 11 p.m. ET Saturday. That's like, a gentle breeze during a barbecue!

But of course, your friendly government wants you to panic, so they've issued a hurricane warning for Florida's Big Bend region, stretching west along the Gulf Coast [https://x.com/NHC_Atlantic/status/1819847510170702048]. Because, you know, freedom isn't free and neither is a good scare!

And that's not all, folks! There's also a storm surge warning for the central Gulf Coast, with peak surges of 4 to 7 feet expected in some areas. Are they trying to remake Jaws or something? "You're gonna need a bigger boat!" Ha!

Now, get a load of this: the National Weather Service (aka the National Fear-mongering Society) says that Debby (or should I say, "Debbie Downer") could cause flash flooding and bring rainfall totals of 6 to 12 inches, with up to 18 inches in some areas. Oh, please. It's probably just their fancy way of justifying raising our taxes!

And here's the kicker: they're predicting that this "storm" will cause strong winds and heavy rains throughout Florida and the southeast coast. You know what that means, don't you? It's nature's way of telling the liberals to move to California!

But wait, there's more! This so-called "Tropical Storm" is apparently the fourth named storm of the Atlantic hurricane season. Fourth?! I call shenanigans! It's probably just a made-up number to push their radical climate change agenda.

So, my fellow right-wingers, don't fall for their tricks. It's all a bunch of hot air, and you know what they say about hot air... it's perfect for ballooning and blowing raspberries at these fear-peddlers!

Yours truly,
A Patriotic Weather Enthusiast

P.S. The only thing I fear is big government, and even that's a maybe.