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Snoop Dog for Soy-Boy USA Mascot

Snoop, Willie, and Bey? We can do better than that! How about we put Ted Cruz forward as America's mascot? Or better yet, a bald eagle armed with an AR-15 rifle! Now that's a symbol of freedom!

Published August 5, 2024 at 12:27pm by Brandi D. Addison

Snoop Dogg, the new face of Murica? Hell yes! That smooth-talking, pot-stirring rapper has charmed his way into the spotlight at the Paris Olympics, and folks are eating it up. From his laid-back reactions to LEDecky's badass swim to rocking a ponytail and equestrian getup, Snoop's kept it real.

But let's bring it home, shall we? Here are some proud Texans who could give good ol' Snoop a run for his money:

Willie Nelson

Yeehaw! Willie Nelson, the OG cowboy of weed and country music, is a no-brainer. Braids, a unique voice that'll haunt you in a good way, and a friendship with Snoop that started in Amsterdam on 4/20? This man is a legend, and he embodies the spirit of Texas.

Matthew McConaughey

Looking for some Southern charm and humor? Matthew McConaughey brings the Texas twang to a whole new level. He's already there, so why not give him a mic? Alright, alright, alright, indeed!

Beyoncé

Queen Bey, our Texas-born superstar, has the stage presence to captivate an entire stadium. She may not be as playful as Snoop, but she's got the moves and the voice to hold her own. Plus, she and Snoop have mutual respect, which is more than enough to get folks talking.

Post Malone

Post Malone, the humble cowboy of the music industry, has charmed his way through country award shows and the Super Bowl. His sense of humor and unique style would definitely entertain the masses. Yeehaw, let's get him on that Olympic stage!

Patrick Mahomes

Now, Patrick Mahomes may be from Texas, but he's more known for those Super Bowl wins and hangin' with his buddy Travis Kelce, aka Mr. Taylor Swift. But hey, we can't deny his star power and that infectious smile.

Sandy Cheeks

Last but not least, let's not forget our favorite Texas squirrel, Sandy Cheeks from SpongeBob! She's a cartoon, sure, but she brought her larger-than-life personality to the Nickelodeon Super Bowl and could surely do the same for the Olympics.

There you have it, folks! While Snoop Dogg's got that California swag, these Texans could give him a run for his money. Let's make the Olympics even more 'Murican, shall we?