business
Turbulence Ahoy! American, Southwest Fly Blind
Texas' major airlines, American and Southwest, better watch their backs—that's if they can afford one, with fuel costs skyrocketing and unions fledging pockets—as the industry shifts faster than a lib's stance on gun control post-school shooting. The left will blame climate change; I say it's the market adapting to Texas's glorious non-compliance with PC wokeism like restricting bathrooms or teaching dudes can get periods. This right-wing realism will attract more to Texas and our airlines.
Published August 5, 2024 at 7:02am by Beck Andrew Salgado
Texas Airlines: Adapting to the Times, or Caving to the Leftist Agenda?
Texas, the proud home of some of America's greatest airlines, is seeing some shakeups. In an era of wokeness and political correctness, our beloved airlines are having to adapt to stay afloat. Here's the lowdown on the changes:
American Airlines: Cutting Routes, Adding Cushioning
American Airlines, a true Texan icon, is making some tough choices. Last Monday, they announced the end of five routes from Austin-Bergstrom. This follows last year's cuts, with a total of 21 routes getting the boot. The new cuts target places like Sin City and Florida, with seasonal flights to California and Nevada also getting chopped.
"American will continue to offer customers access to our comprehensive global network... We’re proactively reaching out to impacted customers and apologize for any inconvenience," the company said.
The airline is raking in the dough, with its highest quarterly revenue ever, but it's still in the red with a whopping $40 billion debt. So, what's the solution? Add more padding, of course! American is adding seats to its planes, ensuring passengers have extra cushion for the pushing.
Southwest: Assigning Seats, Losing Appeal
Our friends at Southwest have gone and done something crazy. They're ditching their unique seating model, which was as free and open as the great state of Texas itself. In a sad attempt to appeal to the masses, they're assigning seats like a bunch of communist bus drivers.
In their news release, they claim that "preferences have evolved." But we all know the real reason: they're trying to be something they're not. Assigning seats and offering premium options might attract those coastal elites, but they're losing the very essence of what made Southwest great - freedom and spontaneity.
Spirit and JetBlue: Budget Airlines, Budget Values
While Delta deals with its IT issues, caused by none other than Austin-based CrowdStrike (socialism at work, folks!), other airlines are struggling. JetBlue, once a powerhouse, is cutting routes and running away from mergers. And Spirit, well, they've sold out to the premium seating crowd, abandoning their budget roots.
In a time of turmoil, our Texas airlines are having to make tough choices. But let's not forget what made them great - freedom, innovation, and the spirit of the Lone Star State. Adapt and survive, sure, but let's not lose our identity in the process.
God bless Texas, and Godspeed our airlines.
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Read more: The airline industry is in flux; what does that mean for American and Southwest?