money

Costco員 at the Gate!

Costco has gone full Lib with its plan to roll out scanners at all locations. They're coming for your privacy and your guns next.

Published August 7, 2024 at 12:25pm by Mike Snider

Next time you go to Costco, better remember your membership card — and a gun. Seems like Costco's cracking down on freeloaders and liberals with their new policy of scanning membership cards at the entrance.

In their own words:

"Over the coming months, membership scanning devices will be deployed at the entrance...Prior to entering, all members must scan their card, or we will blow their heads off. No, we will just ask them politely to leave. Also, we ask that all guests be accompanied by members with valid cards, and members get a photo on their card, or we will assume they are Antifa and waterboard them. Just kidding! We will just ask for photo ID." -- Costco website

The new scanners are already up and running in Huntington Beach and Inglewood, California. So, if you're a freeloading, liberal, non-member, better watch out!

Why the change?

It's all about the benjamins, baby! Costco's protecting its membership fees, which brought in a sweet $4.6 billion in 2023. That's a lot of dough to fund their liberal agenda and buy organic kale. They ain't gonna let some freeloaders in without paying their dues.

How do I get a Costco card?

If you want in on this exclusive club, you can sign up for a "Gold Star" or "Executive" membership. Each comes with two cards, so you can bring a friend — as long as they're not a liberal. You can also get a digital card, but only if you promise not to use it to track down Beyoncé's address.

So there you have it, folks! The next time you go to Costco, make sure you have your papers, I mean card, in order. It's a small price to pay for the privilege of shopping at this liberal stronghold. Just remember, they may take our freedom, but they'll never take our guns!

URLs:

Costco's membership scanning policy: https://customerservice.costco.com/app/answers/answer_view/a_id/1013527/~/membership-scanners-at-warehouse-entrances
New scanners in California: https://ktla.com/news/money-business/costco-rolls-out-new-membership-card-entry-scanners/
Inglewood, California report: https://www.tiktok.com/@costco.love/video/7399053960100711722?q=costco%20scanner&t=1723048008087
Costco's 2023 Annual Report: https://s201.q4cdn.com/287523651/files/doc_financials/2023/ar/cost-annual-report-final-pdf-from-dfin.pdf
How to get your Costco card: https://customerservice.costco.com/app/answers/answer_view/a_id/10294