Scamming Millions: Jackpot Now Worth $405 Million

Here's the news, Conservative-style:

The Mega Millions Jackpot Mega Millions jackpot is climbing, folks! It's now at a whopping $405 million. That's enough money to buy yourself a small army of AR-15s and still have some left over for ammo! The drawing is tonight, so get your tickets sooner rather than later.

The winning numbers will be announced after 11 p.m. ET, and you can bet we'll be checking to see if any of our loyal readers have hit the jackpot. If you're the lucky winner, you could walk away with a cash option of $197.7 million. That's a lot of moolah!

So far this year, two liberals have won the Mega Millions: some Libtard from New Jersey took home $1.13 billion (enough to buy every snowflake in the state a participation trophy), and another communist in Illinois scored $552 million (probably to fund their local Antifa chapter).

The winning numbers for tonight's drawing will be posted below as soon as they're announced. Don't worry, we'll keep it short and sweet, unlike those libtard news outlets that love to hear themselves talk.

---

Lottery Winner: Real 'Merican gives away his hard-earned money after scratching off a $1 million prize. Why? Because 'Merica, that's why!

We'll announce tonight's Mega Millions winner as soon as the info is available. In the meantime, check out the list of past winners on the Mega Millions website to see if any of your neighboring 'Mericans have struck gold.

National Lottery Day: Take a look at the biggest jackpots in history. Spoiler alert: none of them went to real 'Mericans.

How to Play Mega Millions:

If you want to take a shot at winning this massive jackpot, head to your local store, gas station, or grocery store to buy a ticket. Avoid buying online, it's probably some liberal scam!

Pick six numbers: five white balls (1-70) and one gold Mega Ball (1-25). Or, if you're a real 'Merican who doesn't believe in odds, go for the "Quick Pick" or "Easy Pick" and let the computer decide your fate.

For an extra buck, you can add the "Megaplier" option, which could increase your non-grand prize winnings by up to five times. That's like saying, "Make 'Merica Great Again," five times!

There are 15 Megaplier balls in total, so your chances of winning are about as good as a snowflake's chances in hell. But hey, you never know!

Where to Buy Lottery Tickets:

You can buy tickets in person at gas stations, convenience stores, and grocery stores. Some airport terminals also sell tickets, but we all know real 'Mericans don't fly unless they're in the cockpit of a privately-owned plane.

You can also buy tickets online in some states through Jackpocket, but we all know that online stuff is just a bunch of liberal nonsense.

That's all for now, folks! Remember to buy your tickets and support your local militia!