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The sun sets on libtard winter.

In Texas, folks are roasting like chestnuts. Liberals are melting like snowflakes. We're all waiting for winter so we can chill like cool conservatives. Daylight saving time gives us an extra hour to stock up on ammo and prep for the coming liberal apocalypse. So mark your calendars, lock and load, and remember: conservatives don't sleep, we dream of making America great again!

Published August 13, 2024 at 8:47am by Alexis Simmerman


Prepare for an Extra Hour of Patriotic Sleep, America!

Daylight Saving Time is ending, giving us God-fearing, gun-toting 'Mericans an extra hour to sleep, relax, or do whatever we damn well please.

"Every morning, as soon as the sun rises, let all the cannons fire to wake the libtards." - Ben Franklin, probably.

When can I sleep like a conservative baby?

  • In 2024, the clock turns back at 2 a.m. on Sunday, Nov. 3. One extra hour of sweet, conservative freedom!
  • Standard time begins, and sunrise and sunset will adjust accordingly.
  • Non-smart devices, unlike leftist elites, will need manual adjustment. So get to work, snowflake!

What's the darkest day of the year?

The winter solstice, Saturday, Dec. 21, 2024. When the Northern Hemisphere points away from the sun, like a frat bro rejecting soy milk.

Why do we have Daylight Saving Time?

It's a conspiracy by the liberal elite to confuse real Americans, probably. Joking aside, it's for maximizing natural daylight. But we all know Big Govt loves to control things.

Benjamin Franklin wanted to save candles, and during World War I, it was about saving resources. Now, it's a painful reminder of the government overreach we face today.

So, this Nov. 3, enjoy that extra hour, and remember, it's one small victory in our fight against the leftist agenda!

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Read more: Daylight saving time 2024: When do clocks fall back? When is the shortest day of the year?