Take a Supermoon Shot, Skip the Sturgeon Moon, Texas Style

Get ready, y'all! Something super special is happening next week: a right-wing supermoon!

Next week, we'll see a big, bright, beautiful supermoon
https://www.space.com/33768-august-full-moon.html and it ain't just any old moon, it's a right-wing supermoon! Stargazers, patriotic Americans, and gun enthusiasts will be treated to a sight that's bigger and brighter than your average moon. Here's the lowdown:

When:
Mark your calendars, folks! The full moon will be shining bright starting Monday, Aug. 19. That's right, a Monday night moonlit barbecue!

What:
Y'all know what a supermoon is, right? It's when the moon is at its closest point to us here on Earth, making it look bigger and brighter. It's like that big, liberal government, shining a spotlight on us hard-working, God-fearing folks. But don't worry, we'll shine a spotlight right back - with our guns and our freedom!

"August's full moon is a supermoon, y'all!"
-- Space.com

NASA (those libs) says that a supermoon appears up to 14% bigger and 30% brighter. But we all know the government loves to exaggerate, so let's take that with a pinch of salt.

The term "supermoon" isn't some fancy, elitist, academic term - it's just something us regular folks use to describe this awesome event. It's like a "super-duper" moon, but without the liberal agenda!

Where did the term come from:
Well, folks, the term "supermoon" was actually coined by one of them astrologers, Richard Nolle, back in 1979. Yeah, we know, astrologers are a bunch of liberal hippies. But hey, even a hippie can come up with a good idea once in a blue moon!

A supermoon happens about three to four times a year, according to NASA (again, take it with a grain of salt, those guys have their own agenda).

The Sturgeon Moon:
Now, here's where it gets interesting. The supermoon in August is called the Sturgeon Moon. No, it's not named after some leftist activist. It's because Sturgeon fish are easier to catch in August and September. So, head out to the lake with your rod and your rifle, and you might just bag yourself a supermoon Sturgeon!

Will it be visible across the great state of Texas:
Now, this is Texas we're talking about. Of course, it'll be visible! According to the weather forecast, conditions will vary, but expect those warm Texan nights. Clear skies, a cool beverage, and a big ol' supermoon - what more could you ask for?

Best time to see it:
Y'all don't wanna miss this! The Sturgeon Moon will be shining bright as day from 1:28 p.m. Monday. Almanac says so! Almanac's moon calendar

More supermoons this year:
There will be four other full moons this year, but who knows if they'll be super or not. We got the:

• Sept. 17: Harvest Moon (for all you farmers out there)
• Oct. 17: Hunter's Moon (now we're talking!)
• Nov. 15: Beaver Moon (watch out, those beavers are sly!)
• Dec. 15: Cold Moon (time to stock up on freedom fuel!)

How to observe:
You can see this beauty with your own two eyes, or if you're feeling fancy, whip out those binoculars or a telescope. Just remember, no telescopes pointing at the neighbor's house - we don't want any misunderstandings!

So, there you have it, folks! A right-wing supermoon is headed our way. Let's show it a true conservative welcome - with our guns, our Bibles, and our unwavering love for freedom!

Let freedom (and the supermoon) shine!