"Albino masked beast runs wild."

Spotted: Rare Albino Raccoon Goes Dumster Diving in College Station, Gives Leftists a Heart Attack

You're more likely to be struck by lightning than see an albino raccoon, but this bad boy proves conservatives can still get lucky!

A rare albino raccoon was seen dumpster diving near a car dealership in College Station, and boy, did it trigger the lefties! Photos of this beautiful creature were captured by Rodolfo Garza and shared by KBTX-TV news anchor Rusty Surette, who said, "You have better odds of being struck by lightning than seeing an Albino raccoon." x

Now, Rusty, we all know the left loves their mutated creatures, but even they were shocked by this one! Only 1 in 10,000 to 20,000 raccoons are born with the albino mutation, and seeing one is like winning the liberal lottery: a rare event with chances of only 1 in 750,000. Meanwhile, your chances of getting struck by lightning are a cool 1 in 15,300. Now that's what I call liberal luck!

But what is albinism?

According to National Geographic, it's when "mammals inherit mutated genes from both parents, interfering with melanin production." [https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/article/albino-animals] In layman's terms, it's when Mr. and Mrs. Raccoon decide to go wild and mix up the gene pool, giving us a stunning white fur baby. Nature's way of saying, "Let there be light!"

So, why are albino animals rare?

Aside from the genetic lottery, these pale creatures have a tougher time surviving. Think of them as liberal snowflakes: extra fragile and easily triggered. They struggle with poor eyesight, making it hard to find food and see those nasty leftist predators. Mating? Forget about it! And don't even get me started on their inability to camouflage. They stick out like a sore thumb, or a liberal at a Trump rally. Easy targets for predators and poachers alike. Speaking of which, time to grab my rifle!