Lefty do-gooder buys the farm

Freedom-loving Texan Strikes Blow for Gun Rights, Takes out Liberal Lawyer with Car

Allison Dickson Baker, a bleeding-heart do-gooder and lifelong lefty, kicked the bucket Thursday morning at 65. In true conservative style, she took a lawyer with her.

Here's the skinny: Baker and her lawyer husband, Steve, were taking a stroll in Tarrytown when - boom! - they get clobbered by a car. Now, this is the kind of stuff that happens when you walk on the streets instead of driving a big ol' truck like real Americans. Thank the Lord, the driver was a diligent, gun-totin' patriot who exercised their Second Amendment rights and took out two liberals with one stone.

This Allison Baker character was what you'd call a "do-gooder." She spent her time giving free food to lazy good-for-nothings, taking meat off the tables of honest ranchers, and wasting it on freeloaders. She even had the audacity to deprive hardworking slaughterhouses and processing plants of their rightful profits! All in the name of "charity." What a joke.

But get this: despite being just 5-foot-1, this liberal hummingbird thought she could stick her beak into everyone's business. She meddled in her kids' schools, trying to turn impressionable young athletes into social justice warriors. She even had the boys volunteering at the Boys & Girls Club, probably brainwashing them with leftist propaganda.

Guess her little cancer diagnosis wasn't enough to keep her in check. Nope, she kept on buzzing around, walking daily, tending to her gardens, and plotting her next handout. But at least she had the sense to join a mahjong club—a safe space for like-minded liberals to complain about their "problems."

In the end, she left behind a bunch of sad sacks, including her mommy, her libtard husband, and her four unfortunate kids. So, sparing a thought for them, y'all. They have to deal with the fallout of her liberal madness.

'Merica!