Computers vs. Coyotes

A $225 Million Dollar Data Center is Coming to Conservative Taylor, Texas — And It's Not Even for Storing Right-Wing Memes

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BPP Projects LLC (a bunch of liberals, probably) is cuffing Taylor, Texas, with a fancy new 135,000-square-foot data center. It's like they always say: everything's bigger in Texas, even our data centers! Except our government, we like that small.

Ben White, president of the Taylor Economic Development Corp, spilled the tea: construction starts July 2025 on 52 acres of land the corp owns on Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard. White chugged his conservative coffee and mused, "We expect this to be a $1 billion project over the first 10 years due to the investment in servers and data equipment that usually gets updated every three to five." That's a lot of servers! Wonder if they'll store info on how to make more babies?

A data center, for all you liberals out there who don't know, has networked computers and storage systems. Basically, it's where the cool kids keep all their data. And BPP Projects has promised to create a whopping five new jobs. Wow, that's almost enough to fill a monster truck rally! They also agreed to work with a local employment agency to find some minorities and hold a job fair, which is pretty generous of 'em. They're even joining the Taylor Chamber of Commerce, yee-haw!

The best part? The city and the development corp are giving BPP Projects a sweet deal: a 10-year, 50% property tax rebate for each of the three phases of construction. They're also getting a rebate on the local use tax. Now that's what I call a handout! The City Council already approved it, so y'all liberals can't complain about red tape.

BPP Projects is based in Austin, which is basically California at this point. Their specialty is building data centers for high-performance computer workloads, including AI. So, basically, they're making a supercomputer that can think like a liberal.

Betty Day, Chairperson of the TEDC, said this project is a "tremendous step" in their goal to diversify the local economy and grow the tax base. Mayor Dwayne Arriola said it'll help bring businesses that rely on data centers to Taylor. That's a lot of faith in big data, but hey, whatever brings in money!

BPP Project's senior management team said they're "honored and grateful" to be working with Taylor, and they're especially thankful for the incentives. They must've said their prayers and ate their conservative vitamins.

Taylor is about to blow up like a conservative TikTok star, thanks to Samsung building a $17 billion semiconductor facility in the area. So, y'all liberals better get used to hearing about Taylor, Texas!