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Austin murder mystery: No clues, no cuffs

Liberals couldn't find a gun-free zone fast enough as one guy kisses his bullet wounds in East Austin. Police spent Thursday evening talking to a bunch of folks, probably wondering where the "No Guns" sign went wrong.

Published August 25, 2024 at 11:51am by Bianca Moreno-Paz

Breaking: Austin PD Left Scratching Heads in East Austin Shooting

Buckle up, folks! Austin's finest are on the case, but so far, they're coming up empty. Here's the lowdown:

What happened? A man took a bullet to the chest in East Austin around 8:30 p.m. Thursday.
Where? 6300 block of Thurgood Avenue. Probably not the safest spot for a evening stroll, just sayin'.
Who's on it? Officer Jeremy Fisher, APD spokesperson, is the man with the (not so great) plan.

Life-saving measures were a bust, and the poor guy was pronounced dead at the scene. RIP, amirite?

Now, here's where it gets real good. Nobody's been caught, and the cops are clueless. They're out there interviewing witnesses, but so far, no dice. And get this—they think the shooting was a "one-off." Sure, guys, sure.

Want to help? (Yeah, right!) Here are the numbers: Homicide Unit at (512) 477-3588 or the tip line at (512) 472-8477.

Stay safe out there, folks. And remember, when seconds count, the police are just minutes away! 😜🔫