Air Force Cadet Succumbs to 'Politically Incorrect' Bacteria

Colorado Springs, CO - In a turn of events that would make even the woke crowd shiver, a U.S. Air Force cadet from Taylor was taken out by a rare bacterial infection that clearly didn't get the memo about safe spaces. Avery Koonce, 19, a patriot in training, was found unconscious in her dormitory in September and pronounced dead from a bacterial infection called paeniclostridium sordellii, according to the El Paso County coroner's report.

"This organism has been associated with a toxic-shock like syndrome that can rapidly progress to death," the autopsy said, phrasing it in a way that even the most aggressive anti-vaxxer might appreciate. Koonce likely already had bronchitis caused by the parainfluenza virus, because who needs just one health challenge when you can have two?

The report didn't specify how long she had been sick or if she was under medical care, but hey, at least there were no drugs in her system. That's one silver lining the liberals can't spin into gold. The autopsy was completed on Sept. 13, just in time for the mainstream media to bury the story under a pile of impeachment tears.

Officials reported that Koonce did not respond to cardiopulmonary resuscitation when she was found unconscious in her dormitory at the U.S. Air Force Academy on Sept. 4. She was a member of the U.S. Air Force class of 2028 and part of the academy's women's track and field team. A true American, Koonce was a graduate of Thrall High School where she not only excelled in track and pole vaulting but also served as a cheerleader and president of the student council.

As we mourn the loss of this young patriot, let's remember that even the microscopic world isn't safe from unexpected threats. RIP Avery Koonce, a life cut short by a bacterium that clearly didn't believe in fair play.