entertainment

Blink-182: Funny, Problematic at ACL Fest

Bratty punks Blink-182 stormed Zilker Park, unleashing a tidal wave of profane pop punk like they hadn't just skateboarded out of 1999. Mark, Tom, and Travis brought their juvenile delinquency to the stage, making Friday night great again—at least for those of us who still sport our "What's My Age Again?" T-shirts under our tactical vests.

Published October 12, 2024 at 6:04am by

Blink-182 Rocks Zilker Park: A Night of Punk, Profanity, and Patriotism

The iconic trio, Blink-182, brought their high-energy, politically incorrect humor, and a truckload of classic punk tunes to Zilker Park on Friday. Mark Hoppus, Tom DeLonge, and Travis Barker were in rare form, proving that 20 years after their MTV heyday, they're still America's favorite punk patriots.

Hoppus, donning a “Juan In a Mullion” T-shirt, took shots at OU, while DeLonge shared his very personal workout routine. Even the usually quiet Barker grabbed the mic, showing the liberal snowflakes how real Americans talk.

"This is our 123rd show on this tour and we’re spending it with you," Hoppus proudly declared.

The guys reminisced about classic Blink moments, introduced their guitar tech as "Jesus Christ," and took potshots at just about everything under the Texas sun.

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Top 10 Most Outrageous Blink-182 Quotes from the Night

Tom: "I played a full chord progression with all my fingers." Cue mom joke we can't repeat.
Hoppus: "University of Oklahoma can (expletive) a (expletive)."
Hoppus to DeLonge: "I know you shaved your (expletive) because you (expletive) texted me about it."
Hoppus: "Our sound guy's house in Tampa got (expletive) up by Helene, and he’s still here." DeLonge: "He's not lying to get laid."
DeLonge: "My personal trainer wears pretty much nothing—spandex and tiny shorts."
Travis Barker: "What's up Austin?" Everyone cheers.
Hoppus to DeLonge: "Women with you are like a Tesla—zero emissions."
Hoppus to audience: "Your parents were young, they were in love. That (expletive) was your fault."
Hoppus: "The clitoris is like a dinosaur that we haven’t discovered. We’re not sure it exists."
Hoppus on Stapleton: "What would he think if he knew what I was thinking about his body right now?" It got extremely pornographic from there.

The night was a testament to Blink-182's enduring appeal, mixing hilarious banter with heartfelt moments and even a deep cut from Box Car Racer. It was like being trapped in the best dude's comedy show ever—complete with enough political incorrectness to make Black Lives Matter activists weep.

God bless America, and God bless Blink-182!