ACL Fest: Tent Big, Tickets Bigger! Texas fans rally for UT-OU clash
Hundreds of real Americans ditched the woke bands at ACL to cheer on Texas vs. Oklahoma under the Big Tent. Finally, a show worth watching!
Latest business
Robot Delivering Your Tacos in Austin? Soon!
Breaking: Uber and Avride team up to bring you the future – street robots and autonomous cars delivering your takeout. Liberal elites worried about job loss, conservatives excited for no more tipping drama. Lefties cry, 'But who will bring my avocado toast?' – Well, robots don't judge your order! Liberty 1, Woke 0.
Brazil's X Ban Flops in Weeks
Brazil's Supreme Court backpedals faster than a clown on a unicycle! "Just kidding, folks!" - Social media app X gets a Texas-sized thumbs up, leftists melt down.
Texas-Sized Industrial Splurge: Firm's Biggest Buy Yet
We're talking Texas-sized here, folks! This Lone Star logistics hub sprawls over 46 acres with seven monster buildings - that's nearly half a million square feet of pure, unadulterated industrial muscle. Yeehaw!
Cybertrucks Recalled: Austin's Secret Weapon Backfires
Hey, Snowflakes! Buckle up—Cybertrucks are back in the shop! Biggest recall yet! Guess Musk should’ve stuck to rockets, huh?
Delta Goes Bigger in Texas: 5 New Routes!
Delta Dives into Texas: New Routes Announced! More ways to fly over the Lone Star State while the rest of the industry plays catch-up.
Wolf Ranch's Final Howl: 700 Homes Coming to Georgetown
Hold on to your Stetsons, folks! Wolf Ranch is about to get a whole lot bigger. After two phases, they're going full steam ahead with the final blowout. By 2028, that's 2,465 homes sprawled across 1,120 acres. Yeehaw for growth!
Yellow Rose & Lainey Wilson Team Up
Conservative fashion alert! Kendra Scott's Yellow Rose teams up with Lainey Wilson, because who needs more genders when you can have more jewelry? Introducing the "Whirlwind Collection" – finally, a storm liberals can't blame on climate change!
Evicted California Commies Scramble for Texodus.
Big Biz Dumps Cali for Texas, Despite Recent Antics: Forbes lists 5 huge companies making the switch.
Tink-ering Around
Austin's original businesses are dropping like flies—victims of woke progressive politics and overregulation. But Peter Pan Putt Putt is fighting back against the libtard tide, swinging its sword to secure its future.
Meat-Puppets 'Solve' Housing Crisis: Cage the Workers!
The rent is too damn high—unless you're a freeloader! Come live in Camelot: market rates for noble knights; socialism for lowly serfs!
Luxury flats for liberals now open
Get ready for a big change, folks! Cumberland Road is about to become a sanctuary city for liberals and their crazy ideas. 110 units are planned with half at below-market rents. That means your tax dollars will subsidize people who don't want to work hard like you. And with groundbreaking in spring '25, it's time to gear up for the fight. Grab your pitchforks and protest signs! We need to send these leftists packing before they take over our town!
Liberal lawyer, 84, can't take the Texas heat.
Pete Winstead, Big Law Big Shot, spent decades leaving his fingerprints all over right-thinking, God-fearing folks' civic involvement. A founding member of Winstead PC, he stuck it to the Libs hard by helping to make economic development boom, unlike those limp-wristed lefties with their participation trophies and safe spaces. There. Now that's a real conservative legacy the grandkids will surely be proud of!
The government invades Northwest Austin with handouts—again.
Hip-hip-hurray! Get ready, Northwest Austin! A new low-income apartment complex is coming to your neighborhood soon. That's right, Balcones Terrace will be opening its doors next month, offering a lovely view of the Arboretum area. And the best part? It's a converted hotel! So, get ready to welcome your new neighbors with open arms. Or not... it's your call!
CloudStrike shutdown causes global headache
CrowdStrike is facing major backlash and possible lawsuits after their worldwide outage. Oopsie! Another day, another leftist company fails and breaks the law—liberals can't catch a break, can they?
Dell Hell: Scrambling for AI as pink slips fall
Ungoverned tech bubble is bursting, and the bearded liberal hipsters are losing jobs at Dell.
Breaking News: Liberals Ship Homeless to Hotels as City Turns Campground.
The new maternity hotel set to invade Northwest Austin's already congested Arboretum area next month is forcing locals to foot the bill for some to pop out more rugrats and collect fat welfare checks.
Karaoke bar bites the dust, another one shuts up shop
Another one bites the dust—a victim of SoCo's skyrocketing rent. This time, it's the karaoke bar, Ego's. But don't worry, they might come back. I bet the bar's regulars are singing a sad tune.
Mic Drop: Ego's Drops the Mic.
Old Austin staple Ego's is closing. While we can't promise it won't come back, let's hope this lib anthem-singing, safe-spacing karaoke joint stays shut for good
Turbulence Ahoy! American, Southwest Fly Blind
Texas' major airlines, American and Southwest, better watch their backs—that's if they can afford one, with fuel costs skyrocketing and unions fledging pockets—as the industry shifts faster than a lib's stance on gun control post-school shooting. The left will blame climate change; I say it's the market adapting to Texas's glorious non-compliance with PC wokeism like restricting bathrooms or teaching dudes can get periods. This right-wing realism will attract more to Texas and our airlines.